What happens if you get angry a lot. What is anger and how to deal with it? Why understanding and forgiving is the only option

Anger as a disease is dissatisfaction with something: expectations, actions, desires, expressed in the form from mild irritation to extreme fury, destroying the human essence from the inside.

The main problem is hidden in the constant accumulation of such dissatisfaction, and at the onset of a critical moment, and each person has their own threshold, the insatiability of desires overflows, breaking out in the form of more unconcealed.

Anger is undoubtedly an emotion that is discordant with normal existence, but it is also a protective function. Anger, feeding on energy from the air, and being, figuratively speaking, cheerfulness with a minus sign, forms goals.

The overwhelming majority of people experience anger, but they often try not to notice it, drowning it out. Because of latent anger, positive emotions are suppressed, and relationships with others turn into insipid gum.

The emergence of anger

The emergence of anger can contribute not only to personal problems, but, for example, illness. Chronic anger is associated with hypertension, skin diseases, prolonged migraines, and problems with the digestive tract.

Under the influence of anger, numerous unpleasant acts can be committed, which later have to be regretted. People, in order not to be rejected at one point, suppress their anger. After all, if a person is in an evil state, then there is a high probability that he will be rejected by others and the fear of this makes him restrain.

Concealed anger

Depressive state or may be the reason for the emergence of hidden anger. Invading a person's life, this feeling destroys him, up to physical self-elimination. Negativeness builds up, and anger is projected onto itself. As symptoms of latent anger, sadness can manifest itself, growing into melancholy, all-consuming boredom.

Not worth mixing. After all, these are completely not identical concepts, even though they have basically identical root causes. Hatred is a feeling of the most acute dislike, up to and including disgust, expressed towards something or towards someone.

It's no secret that relationships between people are filled with a variety of feelings, among which there is a place and anger. However, everyone is free to do as he sees fit and therefore, being under the influence of anger, he can either suppress it or throw it out. Often splashing out, there is a burning resentment.

At its core, offense is an extremely negative feeling generated by the futility of expectations, lack of gratitude for the work done, differences of opinion, and unreasonable slander. Another reason for resentment may be an attempt to manipulate others, it looks like: "I am offended - I'm right!" Thus, as it were, personal superiority over the opponent is expressed.

Female anger

For the most part, people are subject to stress and overwork, at work - conflicts with management or with subordinates, at home - disobedience of children, on the street - open arrogance of others. This is especially true for women who can be unbalanced by any unnecessary stimulus. Attacks of female anger can also appear in the case of a disorder with hormonal levels.

To ease anger, it will be useful to normalize hormonal levels, because it is the level of hormones that plays an important role in human life. Violation of this level is fraught with the appearance of dissatisfaction, disgusting mood, weakness, excessive fatigue.

In women's appearance, due to the level of hormones, changes also occur: the hair becomes dull and brittle, the skin dries and flakes, there is increased fragility of the nails, the menstrual cycle and the work of the gastrointestinal tract are disrupted, and may decrease intellectual abilities and memory functions will be impaired. Depression and irritability are what most often characterize a woman during this period.

If such signs are found, you should seek the advice of an endocrinologist, perform hormonal tests and, if violations are detected, take steps to eliminate their cause. A correct lifestyle also contributes to the normalization of hormonal levels: a balanced diet, physical activity, including in the fresh air, elimination of existing bad habits... The diet should include a sufficient amount of seafood and plant products such as spinach, persimmons, garlic, bananas, eggplants.

Meditation helps to release irritation and constant anger as a disease. The regularity of the exercises is conducive to balancing the psyche, relieving tension, and anger. If the basis of irritability is not a specific disease, but its source is localized outside, you can take the path of eliminating contacts with the source of irritation, removing it from your life. An integrated approach will help control a woman's anger and emotionality of a woman in general.

Controlling anger

In order not to obey anger, it should be controlled. How? If you feel signs of boiling anger, you should do a few deep sighs, normalizing breathing, at the same time calming yourself and taming evil thoughts by repeating to yourself: “Everything will be fine. Take it easy. Relax". It makes sense to put yourself in the place of a person against whom anger has shown itself, to evaluate the situation from this side.

Treating many things with a bit of humor will help you learn to listen to the signals emanating from others, and the ability to hear the unspoken will help establish trusting relationships, eliminate anger from them.

The thoughts expressed should be constructive. The manner of expressing thoughts is calm. It is simply necessary to release the accumulated anger, because it is not good for health, but you should learn to do it. Violent attacks on others will not help build good neighborly ties.

Getting rid of anger

First of all, you need to refuse to vent your anger on loved ones. No matter how difficult it may be, anger should be consciously overcome, realizing the often unfounded insults inflicted on them. If you don't like something in a person, then this can be said not in a defiant form, but softly, avoiding rough comparisons and irritability.

To get rid of anger, it makes sense to analyze the circumstances under which irritability begins to appear and, if possible, avoid such situations. It is necessary to comprehend the science of relaxation, which will be facilitated by the techniques of meditation, they will also strengthen health and serve as the basis for strengthening the shattered psyche, increasing stress resistance.

The reason for the accumulation of anger in employees, after work, you need to strive for physical activity, the desire to release anger out through the stress in the gym or in fitness classes. Yoga can be used as a powerful antidepressant to relieve anxiety and bring general tranquility.

To get rid of anger, you can take the path of least resistance: smash dishes, shout, make trouble, tear paper, clothes on yourself, get into a fight. Most often it is extremely inappropriate, but how effective ...

However, there are other ways to suppress anger, such as talking about it. Expressing an attitude through a description of one's feelings, the effect is achieved when anger is not suppressed, but is released outside without concentration inside.

This method is very constructive, because in this case the person does not attack the object of anger, but speaks about his attitude towards him, about his feelings. There is no need to strive to suppress evil emotions and to absorb them inside, in this case, anger can absorb and subdue.

If you can't fight anger on your own, you can turn to a psychologist for help, it is he who, using the methodology of dealing with negative emotions, will be able to help in the fight against attacks of anger and rage. Anger often hides a need. Therefore, for some reason, being angry, one should ask oneself the question: "What am I, in fact, striving for?"

Anger is an emotion that is currently causing controversy. Some people think it is good to be angry, while others believe it is bad. Nevertheless, we encounter this emotion almost daily, using it to build boundaries and relationships with others.

What is anger?

Anger is the emotion by which we show our disagreement with what is happening, with what does not correspond to our plans, hopes or expectations. With the right approach, this internal protest can be useful for us, as it gives us the opportunity to actively influence the situation. Although it is generally accepted that anger and anger are a pathological reaction of the body. This is not entirely correct, since it all depends on the provoking factor that contributed to this condition.

Is it harmful to be angry?

In moderate amounts, feelings of anger are normal. Thus, a person tries to protect himself from any irritants. If you constantly suppress this emotion in yourself, it will not go anywhere and will also provoke actions, but in such a situation they can be destructive both for us and for the people around us. Therefore, it is so important to be able to interact with anger, to be aware of and accept such a state.

But in the event that this emotion is constantly present in a person's life, this phenomenon can no longer be called normal. It is believed that excessive anger in people contributes to the accumulation of negativity and can even provoke the development of certain diseases, both psychological and physiological. So, similar negative emotions lead to rapid heartbeat, increased pressure, a feeling of spasms in the gastrointestinal tract, which is accompanied by the release of bile and of hydrochloric acid... Therefore, irritable people are often diagnosed with gastritis and stomach ulcers. In addition, anger and hatred interfere with adaptation among people. Since a person is overly quick-tempered, creates conflicts out of the blue, many do not like this and makes them avoid communication.

In order to learn how to control this emotion, it is necessary to understand why this state occurs.

Why are we angry?

The reasons for this are varied and depend on the individual. The main provoking factors that contribute to the emergence of anger are:

Anything can act as a provoking factor. Very often women experience this emotion during the period of bearing a child. Extra pounds, a changed figure, toxicosis, sleep problems, anxiety about the upcoming birth, fear of change make you angry.

Often, even the smallest troubles can provoke feelings of anger. Sometimes, at the same time, a person loses the ability to curb his emotions, cannot cope with himself, in which case it may even be necessary to consult a psychotherapist, especially if such attacks affect relationships with loved ones or even end in bodily harm to anyone.

How to deal with anger?

If the feeling of anger is so strong that it becomes impossible to control it, it is necessary to analyze the situation and, first of all, try to understand what exactly causes such negative emotions, because they are not born in an instant, but are a direct response to the behavior of people or the situation. We build certain expectations about certain events and are in anticipation of what we should experience. And when our hopes are disappointed, it makes us upset and disappointed. Faced with our own frustration, we begin to feel angry.

This is an emotion that can turn into open aggression and undermine our mental state with subsequent adverse consequences, including for others. To prevent this from happening, you must adhere to some rules:

learn to be aware and acknowledge your emotions, do not hide them inside yourself;
understand that it is impossible to completely eradicate anger, it is a normal reaction to various stimuli, and its presence in our life is natural;
be aware of your true needs - this is the key to well-being and harmony, as a result, this feeling will become a helper, and not annoy.

Anger is a landmark that speaks of the presence of an internal conflict, factors that do not satisfy us, and also pushes us to choose other options for the development of events.

There are several effective methods that can help you cope with yourself in different situations.

Unleash your emotions

The feeling inside is not worth it, we do not forbid ourselves to rejoice and laugh. Put your emotions out on a pillow, hitting it until you feel relief. You can splash out words of anger on paper by writing an angry letter, putting all the hatred in each line. After that, the letter must be burned.

There are other options that can help release negative emotions: find a deserted place or lock yourself in a car and scream until the feeling of anger passes.

Anger dosing method

So that excessive irritability does not harm personal ties or work, does not spoil relationships with people, you can try to dose anger by expressing some of it right on the spot, and dropping some of it in one of the following ways:

playing sports;
dancing;
cleaning the house;
long walks in the fresh air;
drawing, embroidery, knitting, etc.

These methods will help you transform negative emotions into something useful and not ruin your relationships with others.

Milton Erickson Method

There is another interesting way to get rid of anger, the authorship of which belongs to a psychotherapist. A kind of "punishment", for example, in the form of squats or jumps 30-50 times at the first manifestations of anger, will help to force the subconscious mind to abandon anger. The result will not be long in coming, it is important that the punishment is an occupation that a person hates.

Step-by-step Emotion Taming Technique

Some people are helped by a special step-by-step technique. First of all, you need to order yourself to stop by an effort of will. You need to understand that emotions do not solve the problem, but only further complicate the situation. Once you've made the effort, you need to switch to something good, even if it's not easy. In the future, this will become a habit and will help calm down.

Expectant tactics and substitution techniques

If you feel that you are starting to get angry, try to imagine the whole situation in a funny way, draw some funny moments in your imagination and wait a little. After a while, negative emotions will subside, and the situation will not seem so critical.

Exercise "Smile of Buddha"

This method will allow you to regain peace of mind. Try to throw all thoughts out of your head, relax the muscles of your face and imagine that they are filled with heaviness and warmth, and your lips move apart and form a slight smile. When doing this, try not to exert muscle effort. After a while, you will feel that a barely noticeable smile has appeared on your lips, and your body begins to fill with a feeling of joy and peace. You need to perform this exercise daily until this state becomes normal for you.

to myself?

If the cause of negative emotions is dissatisfaction with your appearance, then you need to take care of yourself, try to change something, but at the same time do not forget that inner work comes first. This means that you need to learn to accept yourself and understand that each of us is individual, and self-confidence adds attractiveness in the eyes of others.

Does this also apply to pregnant women who experience this feeling during this period? The expectant mother needs to come to terms with her position, to understand that it is natural and beautiful. Of course, changes in hormonal levels are often the cause of emotional breakdowns. To avoid them, you need to rest a lot, do something that brings pleasure and improves your mood, do not give up a full life, because pregnancy is not a pathology.

Envy, resentment and anger

Often a person begins to get angry, experiencing envy of others. Don't compare yourself to others. What we have achieved in life is our merit. Instead of suffering over the fact that someone has achieved more than us, it is better to engage in self-development.

It is much more difficult to get rid of anger, which is accompanied by a feeling of resentment, that is, a feeling that everyone owes us something. It is important to learn to understand that each of us has the right to do exactly as he wants.

Visit doctor

It happens that a person is not able to overcome anger on his own. What to do in this case? You need to seek help from a specialist. Do not be ashamed of your emotions. This is not a sign of ill health, just life circumstances provoke us to such manifestations. Share your thoughts with the doctor, tell about your concerns. You may need to undergo treatment with harmless drugs to stabilize your emotional state.

Feelings of anger are most often harmful. But this does not mean that in all situations we should be flexible and nice. In some cases, a healthy feeling of anger will only benefit, it is important to observe the measure and take into account the circumstances.

Anger is a well-known feeling. Every person faces this emotion every day. All people have experienced anger at least once in their lives. It has many shades and is accompanied by other negative emotions. Psychology has been studying this condition for a very long time. The meaning of the word anger is not too capacious, but many understand firsthand.

Most people believe that this is a pathological reaction of the body. This judgment is not always correct, since it all depends on the nature of the trigger that caused this condition. In moderate amounts, feelings of anger are normal. This is a kind of defense reaction of the body to any kind of stimulus.

If this condition is constantly present, then it is extremely negative. Most parapsychologists argue that such an emotion is capable of accumulating negative energy and leading to a number of diseases, not only psychological, but also physiological.

To get rid of various types of anger, you need to understand the reasons for this state, which often lie in the depths of the subconscious.

Why can't you get angry?

So why can't you get angry? There are many answers to this question... First of all, this is reflected in the mental balance. Than more people angry, the worse and more unstable his emotional state. Anger and hatred lead to a series of conflicts from scratch. In this case, you can lose all connections. With a negatively minded person, hardly anyone will want to communicate.

When a person experiences this kind of negative emotion, there is a negative impact on internal organs... The heart begins to beat faster, the gastrointestinal tract experiences spasms. That is why people who are angry and irritable often have stomach ulcers. During such a negative state, bile and hydrochloric acid are released. For an empty stomach, this is an extremely aggressive environment that can lead to various defects in the mucous membrane.

Everyone knows what anger is. Such negative emotion leaves a very heavy aftertaste. Especially if such manifestations are not inherent in a particular person. Negative energy accumulates. As a result, a significant amount of troubles and all negative things are attracted into life. Such mental garbage is very harmful. Human life turns into a series of troubles, from which it is difficult to get out.

Reasons for this emotional reaction

The reasons for the anger can vary. It all depends on the individual. This emotion is a sign of a morbid psyche if accompanied too often. Anger and anger arise from the following provoking factors, the main of which are:

Education. An example of parental behavior can be very revealing, often leaves an imprint on a person's character.
Severe psychological trauma. This is especially true when it comes to cruelty. When a person has experienced rough treatment, it can affect their personality. In the future, he may show anger at the slightest oversight on the part of others.
... Troubles in love and relationships cause not only irritation but also anger. This is understandable. Personal relationships are fundamental to the happiness of every individual.
Diseases. Emotion of anger can arise as a result of the course of various pathologies in the body. Especially malignant. The patient feels hurt and unhappy. Some people begin to actively fight pathology, while others are indignant at their neighbors.
Difficult circumstances. Anger and aggression can arise against the backdrop of difficulties that follow a series. In this case, a person has various troubles: problems at work, at home, etc.
Inferiority complexes. Self-anger is one of the most common. This is especially true for people who are dissatisfied with their appearance and achievements. A negative attitude towards oneself contributes to the emergence of anger.

There can be a lot of provoking factors. this condition is quite common. Anger is caused by extra pounds, a deterioration in figure, the inability to sleep normally at night in the last trimester, fear about the upcoming birth and the future. Where does anger come from? From an unsatisfied subconscious. Minor annoyances often become triggers. Sometimes a person becomes unable to control attacks of anger and seeks advice from a psychotherapist.

Some people become so out of control that they can injure another person. This condition requires mandatory medical intervention.

How to deal with anger?

Sometimes every person wonders why I have so much anger. Indeed, sometimes anger does not fit in the mind and it is very difficult to stop the process. An analysis of the situation will be required. Anger at yourself is the hardest to overcome. First, you need to find out what exactly triggers the emotion. If this is dissatisfaction with your appearance, then it is recommended to take care of yourself. For a start, you can change something in your appearance, but the main work begins from the inside.

What to do with anger in this case? You must accept yourself. To do this, you need to love your individuality and understand that each person has a certain set of external characteristics. Attractiveness is primarily self-confidence. Acceptance of your personality and appearance. You need to love yourself, take care and cherish. Only then will the negative reaction evaporate by itself.

Women in a position want to know how to extinguish anger during pregnancy, because such an emotion is often encountered. First you need to accept the naturalness of your position. During pregnancy, hormonal changes occur in the body, which can provoke periodic breakdowns. To know how to overcome anger and irritability in this case, it is enough to understand that all processes occurring in the body are not pathological. You need a lot of rest every day, emotionally unloaded. During pregnancy, you need to lead a fulfilling life. Meet more with friends and get positive emotions.

Knowing how to get rid of anger and hatred, you can control yourself. It is necessary to understand how harmful such negative reactions are. Firstly, they like a magnet attract various troubles into life. Secondly, they weaken health, both physical and psychological.

Many people have a question about how to get rid of envy and anger. If anger is accompanied by this negative reaction, then the person thereby compares himself to those around him. You don't need to do this. After all, everyone has their own path. For personal growth, people find themselves in the conditions that they need most at the moment. Anger and envy give rise to various diseases of the heart and digestive system. Chronic diseases are also often exacerbated at the same time. Why you can't get angry is now clear. It is also important to know how to control this process, because it is not always easy.

How to get rid of anger?

How to get rid of anger and irritability? Several types of therapy can be applied. The first was created by the psychotherapist Milton Erickson. To deal with anger, it is enough to come up with a punishment for this reaction. To do this, for example, you need to squat 50 times, each time a negative reaction appears. After a day of this practice, the subconscious mind will give up anger.

The punishment should be what the person dislikes the most. Asking the question of how to get rid of aggression, one should understand that such a reaction brings a vicious circle of troubles into life. The reaction generates the appearance of a new trigger in life, and so on ad infinitum. The vicious circle can be broken by replacing negative beliefs and reactions.

Getting rid of anger and resentment is much more difficult. This state indicates a lack of mental balance. Resentment is an admission that everyone around should. It is enough to understand that any person is free to do as he sees fit and to reduce the significance of each situation.

You can get rid of anger and irritation using a special step-by-step technique. The first thing to do is tell yourself to stop. It is necessary to understand that such a reaction aggravates the situation, but does not solve it. Through force, one should think about the good. Even if it is very difficult to do it. Then, in any negative state, it will become a habit and will no longer annoy.

Additional techniques

How to deal with resentment? If such a reaction occurs during pregnancy, then it is necessary to apply the technique of switching attention. To do this, you need to come up with a hobby. Singing, painting, clay modeling, and more are great switches.

Knowing how to let go of resentment, you can move a few steps forward in your self-development. It is enough to realize the freedom of action of other people. Remove all obligations from them. This will give you a breath of fresh air and relieve unnecessary stress.

Most people wonder how to control anger. This can be done with the help of special expectant tactics and replacement techniques. During a fit of anger, it is necessary to imagine what caused the reaction in some funny way. And wait a bit. After a while, the anger will subside.

How to deal with anger that never goes away? You can use the technique of digesting emotions. As soon as a negative state arises, you should take a sheet of paper and tear it into small pieces, impregnating with a feeling of anger.

Some people will be interested in knowing how to get rid of the feeling of envy, because it is present in many individuals. You need to take a sheet of paper and divide it in half. Then, on the one hand, write down all your shortcomings, and on the other hand, transform them into advantages. Positive qualities should be repeated loudly, looking at yourself in the mirror every time envy arises.

Anger and how to deal with it can be suggested by an experienced psychotherapist. Today there is a large number technician.

Z loyalty is a well-known feeling. Every person faces this emotion every day. All people have felt anger at least once in their lives. It has many shades and is accompanied by other negative emotions. Psychology has been studying this condition for a very long time. The meaning of the word anger is not too capacious, but many understand firsthand.

To get rid of various types of anger, you need to understand the reasons for this state, which often lie in the depths of the subconscious.

Why can't you get angry?

So why can't you get angry? There are many answers to this question. First of all, this is reflected in the mental balance. The more a person is angry, the worse and more unstable his emotional state. Anger and hatred lead to a series of conflicts from scratch. In this case, you can lose all connections. With a negatively minded person, hardly anyone will want to communicate.

When a person experiences this kind of negative emotions, there is a negative impact on the internal organs. The heart begins to beat faster, the gastrointestinal tract experiences spasms. That is why people who are angry and irritable often have stomach ulcers. During such a negative state, bile and hydrochloric acid are released. For an empty stomach, this is an extremely aggressive environment that can lead to various defects in the mucous membrane.

Everyone knows what anger is. This negative emotion leaves a very heavy aftertaste. Especially if such manifestations are not inherent in a particular person. Negative energy accumulates. As a result, a significant amount of troubles and all negative things are attracted into life. Such mental garbage is very harmful. A person's life turns into a series of troubles, from which it is difficult to get out.

Reasons for this emotional reaction

Education. An example of parental behavior can be very revealing, often leaves an imprint on a person's character.
Severe psychological trauma. This is especially true when it comes to cruelty. When a person has experienced rough treatment, it can affect their personality. In the future, he may show anger at the slightest oversight on the part of others.
Problems in personal life. Troubles in love and relationships cause not only irritation but also anger. This is understandable. Personal relationships are fundamental to the happiness of every individual.
Diseases. Emotion of anger can arise as a result of the course of various pathologies in the body. Especially malignant. The patient feels hurt and unhappy. Some people begin to actively fight pathology, while others are indignant at their neighbors.
Difficult circumstances. Anger and aggression can arise against the backdrop of difficulties that follow a series. In this case, a person has various troubles: problems at work, at home, etc.
Inferiority complexes. Self-anger is one of the most common. This is especially true for people who are dissatisfied with their appearance and achievements. A negative attitude towards oneself contributes to the emergence of anger.

There can be a lot of provoking factors. This condition is quite common during pregnancy. Anger is caused by extra pounds, a deterioration in figure, the inability to sleep normally at night in the last trimester, fear about the upcoming birth and the future. Where does anger come from? From an unsatisfied subconscious. Minor annoyances often become triggers. Sometimes a person becomes unable to control attacks of anger and seeks advice from a psychotherapist.

Some people become so out of control that they can injure another person. This condition requires mandatory medical intervention.

How to deal with anger?

What to do with anger in this case? You need to accept yourself. To do this, you need to love your individuality and understand that each person has a certain set of external characteristics. Attractiveness is primarily self-confidence. Acceptance of your personality and appearance. You need to love yourself, take care and cherish. Only then will the negative reaction evaporate by itself.

How to get rid of anger?

Additional techniques

Anger and how to deal with it can be suggested by an experienced psychotherapist. Today there are a large number of techniques.

“Why was I angry before? Because I didn't have a bicycle, ”says one of the characters from the cartoon“ Three from Prostokvashino ”. And you can't argue. An unhappy fate, dissatisfaction with oneself and life, unfulfilled dreams, ruined plans, unsatisfied ones makes a person evil.

Anger is closely associated with many: resentment, envy, jealousy, longing, sadness, irritability, and more. But the closest term is anger. If anger is an emotion, then anger is an affective feeling, the highest manifestation of anger. I think they can be considered synonymous. Moreover, in an angry person, outbursts of anger are not so rare. The result of anger and anger is. This action is a completely different story. But back to being angry.

Anger is a protective reaction of the body to danger, irritant, infringement of boundaries, violation of internal balance. It is common to all people. Each of us is familiar with anger.

Another question is when anger becomes a trait and permeates a person's entire life. Then the individual is always dissatisfied with everything, torments himself and those around him. This situation requires getting rid of chronic anger.

Anger is hormones. And sometimes behavior correction is not enough. So, the hormonal background can always be in an imbalance when:

alcohol abuse;
passive or overly active lifestyle;
disturbed nutrition;
health problems.

To identify and eliminate this cause, it is worth visiting several specialists (psychiatrist, endocrinologist, nutritionist, narcologist). In this article, we assume that your hormones are normal, and analyze the problem of anger from the perspective of psychology.

Why is anger dangerous?

“From anger that is aimed at people, as a rule, the villain himself suffers,” - Ferdowsi.

Anger destroys not only the relationship of an individual with society, but also the personality itself. This happens first. Equally detrimental is the containment of negativity, silence, and its regular splash on others.
Anger attracts real diseases (), destroys families, friendships, work relationships.
In some cases, anger turns into self-aggression and self-destructive behavior or others.

Looking for a reason

"All anger comes from powerlessness" - Jean-Jacques Rousseau.

The reason for the anger is almost always the same - dissatisfaction. Think about what is troubling you at the moment. What you want but cannot get.
The second option - anger masks fear, resentment, pain, and personal insecurity (the best defense is attack).
Anger is a sign of weakness, instability, psychological trauma and problems.

We give vent to emotions

Let me tell you right away that the word "calm down" does not work. Especially when it is spoken at the height of emotion. Yes, you can calm down for a long time and persistently, squeeze anger, but after that something will become the last straw. And now before us is no longer just an evil person, but an angry one. So, if you understand that emotions have accumulated, then they need to be withdrawn. How to do this without causing harm (moral and physical) to yourself and others?

P. S. Methods personally verified. Their essence is the same - to reduce the jumped level of hormones.

Hit the pillow.
Tear up the newspaper.
Shout. Not on someone, but into the emptiness of an endless field, a forest. Release your anger.
Clench and unclench your fists.
Push up, run, walk.
Take a deep breath and hold your breath.
Meditate, do auto-training, master.
Draw.
Dance.
Clean up at home.
Write your emotions, claims, describe the state. You can break a pen, pencil (from pressure), but you have to express all the pain on paper. It is good if the letter has an addressee. After that, burn the leaf.
Draw. Any strokes, lines. Create something totally chaotic on the sheet, dot it out. Do not control pressure. Now take a look. This is your anger. This black (blue) shapeless (or shaped) spot is your anger. It sits in you. What is it a lump? Resentment? Emptiness? And how can this be replaced, filled?

Akin to the advice to calm down, the option to count to 10. Of course, it helps someone, but more often gives time to accelerate before the flash. Taking a deep breath is a more effective idea. The brain will be saturated with oxygen, the balance of hormones will quickly change, you will be able to take a sober look at the situation.

“I was choking with anger and hatred. It was not society that I hated - an abstraction invented by insignificant sociologists - I hated the entire universe. I wanted to hurt her in revenge for the pain caused to me ”- A. Murdoch.

Correcting behavior

Now that the “explosion” has been prevented, we can talk about ways to correct behavior that require a lot of time and effort, but also have great prospects.

It has been scientifically proven that anger is as dangerous to the cardiovascular system as cholesterol in its effect. In order to want to surely get rid of uncontrollable anger, put on the scales all its consequences: discord in relationships with loved ones, problems at work, poor health, early death, loneliness. Now take action, don't step back. Always keep these risks in mind (it is helpful to list them out and display them prominently).
The cause of anger is always in you. No, this is not a bad boss, you are not satisfied with the job. Why? If your boss really scolds you for nothing, then change jobs. If you do, then improve your skills and stop being angry with your boss (read: yourself). Don't like the activity itself? Change the sphere. You are scared? Everyone is afraid to step out of their comfort zone. Stay in it, but then learn to live with your anger (read: dissatisfaction). The friend took care of himself, now you are losing against his background? Start changing, then you will stop being angry with him (read: your own lack of will and apathy). I think the analogies are clear, you don't have to go on.
Don't be silent about your dissatisfaction, don't be afraid to ask. This should be done in a cultural way. For this, it is useful to know the characteristics of the interlocutor (habits, character,), to express and feel emotions.
In moments of bursting outbursts, remember the emotion or feeling that comes after: disappointment, shame, regret. For some people, evil release brings satisfaction, but such individuals usually do not see the problem and do not want to change (this is what their environment wants). And since you are still reading this article, the satisfaction of anger is not your case. Then the method of remembering emotions will do. If you are a brave person, ask your family to take a picture of you when you are angry. Nobody likes this picture. It's strange. Why would? Hang up your "posters" as a visual example of the destroying alternative personality.
Imagine how much effort it takes to carry out plans for revenge, remembering grievances, experiences, etc. Do you feel sorry for your own potential, which is not realized due to the fact that your whole life revolves around anger? I feel sorry for him. What you cannot change - accept and release. Change what you can influence. How? Make a step-by-step plan and slowly, but surely go to the goal. This will help focus on the meaning of your life. Do you have it? Or not? !
Develop optimism and a sense of humor. With him, everything becomes easier and less significant.
Anger can be both a response to stress and a cause. In this regard, any technique for overcoming stressful situations... Go to popular anti-stress attractions such as breaking dishes.
Speak or write down your anger and its reasons. This will allow you to look at the situation differently, accept it and draw up a plan of action. There is always an unmet need behind anger. What do you lack for happiness right now?
Don't judge by the past. Be prepared to give the person a new chance for constructive dialogue. People tend to change. By the way, as well as external circumstances.
If someone really hurts you, deliberately makes you angry (and you didn’t think it up), then this is the problem of that person. Have pity on him, help him, laugh to yourself about it, or refuse to interact. Do not stir up a scandal and point out the problems and griefs of your opponent (especially just as viciously).
To adequately respond to problems in relationships, learn tolerance (tolerance), respect and self-respect. Study psychology, personality traits. Improve your communication skills. Did you know that some people, due to their innate characteristics, cannot make a decision and do quality work in a short time? Not? And it happens. How embarrassing it turned out: you were angry with the person for their irresponsibility and slowness, and you also insulted. And the answer lies in the processes of inhibition and arousal in the opponent's psyche. The better you understand people, the more realistic your expectations and requirements for them will be. Often, anger is born precisely on the basis of our own inadequate expectations or requirements.
We know ourselves through relationships. The better you know others, the better you know yourself. Self-knowledge is followed by self-control.
The same anger that you are experiencing now, direct not to aggression and resentment, but to action. State yourself (but in a socially acceptable way), your interests, needs and desires. Let anger play the primary function - competition, survival, promotion.
Do not suppress anger, otherwise you will lose yourself, become nothing (no feelings, no desires, no aspirations, no interests, only illness).
Don't try to get rid of anger, learn to express it. Sometimes it is enough to say "I am angry", "It makes me angry ...", "Please do not do this." Talking is always good.

Thus, getting rid of anger involves getting rid of its roots or what it hides. Resentment - forgive, emptiness - to fill (hobbies, friends, communication), (misunderstanding) - to eliminate, needs - to satisfy, the meaning of life - to find, physical pain (illness) - to heal.

Does anger have any advantages?

Yes! And I suggest you look at the situation differently. Stop seeing anger as your enemy. Yes, you want to get rid of it, but does it only harm? Consider an advisor in it. She tells you sore spots, emptiness of the soul, urgent needs, unwanted character traits, bad habits.

Always ask yourself: why am I angry? After answering, ask the second question: can I change this? How can I change this?

do what you want (this is not selfishness);
communicate with those with whom you want;
change or exclude what does not suit you;
abandon stereotypes and attempts to meet other people's expectations.

Chronic anger is a trait of unhappy people. To get rid of it, you need to be happy. But it is important to remember that anger is natural when it manifests itself in response to situations that threaten life, health, and family. It allows us to grow, move forward, adapt and survive.

“Anyone can get angry — it's easy; but to be angry with the one at whom it is necessary, and as much as it is necessary, and when it is necessary, and for the reason for which it is necessary, and the way it is necessary - this is not given to everyone ”, - Aristotle.

Watch the video and find out how people bring pieces of good into the world every day.