Let's make a reservation right away that there are problems in any family, regardless of the age of the spouses, their financial situation, the number of children and place of residence. Of course, each nationality differs in its views on the family structure, and what a European woman sees as an infringement of her rights, a woman will perceive as a justified "master's" husband. But, fortunately, Domostroy has long since sunk into oblivion, therefore, in the field of interpersonal (and including love) relationships, we will be guided only by such concepts as a civilized approach to any problem.

Emotionality or parenting gaps?

Husband offends, indulge in incontinence in expressions? Observe how his family communicates. Do his parents speak calmly with each other, do they know how to listen to the interlocutor? All communication problems come from childhood. If husband calls names wife, if the parents constantly communicate in a raised voice, the child simply will not be able to behave differently in society. For him, it is - he simply does not know that there may be other scenarios of behavior.

Husband offends? This is not yet a cause for panic. You love this person, you married him, you were going to give birth to his children. Show your beloved man that you can communicate on a completely different level, without raising your tone, without nagging and rude expressions.

Husband offends, allows himself tactlessness - in no case do not respond in kind. Say in response that you love him very, very much, that he is the most wonderful, hardworking, strong (the list of qualities can be continued indefinitely!). And, kissing him on the cheek, tactfully hint that it is unpleasant for you when such a superman behaves inappropriately. Men are no less sentimental and responsive than women, and your disposition will surely provoke a backlash in him. In addition, you get used to everything good quickly and, having appreciated all the charm of a gentle, respectful relationship, without rudeness and barbs, a man is likely to change.

Of course, each case must be considered separately. Expressiveness in behavior, sharpness in words can be explained by the warehouse of a person's character. The classification by the type of emotional response (phlegmatic, sanguine, choleric) has not yet been canceled. Maybe you just think that husband offends you - in fact, due to his temperament, he just behaves a little differently than you are used to. Try to understand him and not be offended by trifles - women have always been distinguished by their tolerance and the ability to "feel" another person, especially a loved one, on an intuitive level.

When to put in place

Another question if husband offends constantly, allowing myself to speak barbs or even insults in your address, despite persuasion and admonition. Husband calls names and shows his superiority in every possible way? It's time to take drastic action! But do not get into a skirmish right away, do not react violently to every unpleasant word. Wait, remember all the claims that he expresses to you. Everyday showdowns make men nervous and only provoke them more. Maybe he, discouraged by your calm reaction, will stop his grumbling himself, realizing his meaninglessness and worthlessness (this also happens). If this does not happen and husband calls names, continues to be rude as before - pull yourself together (you must be calm and one hundred percent sure that you are right) and say a "sacramental" phrase that affects all men equally depressingly: "Darling, I need to seriously talk to you!" ...

In a calm tone, without stopping to insults, express to the "sweetheart" all your grievances and claims that you have kept in yourself for a long time. Don't miss a single little thing - let him know that you remember everything offensive words which he allowed himself to express to you.
Emphasize that it was only the desire to maintain a normal family environment that kept you from the temptation to throw a scandal. You, unlike him, can control yourself and not "nag" your loved one for an insignificant reason.
Tell him about all the details that annoyed you in his behavior, decompose his character on the shelves and demonstrate all his weaknesses. Attempts to object or persuade you immediately stop - you have been silent for so long, hoping that he himself will understand the absurdity of his behavior.
Explain clearly to the "handsome" that he has no right to reproach you - he himself is far from the image of an ideal spouse. You love him, despite all the flaws and you want it to be mutual. You could respond to his barbs in such a way that it would not be good for him, but play on self-esteem loved one- the very last thing.

We guarantee that your monologue will have a sobering effect on your husband and make him take a fresh look at some things. But it is not a fact that you will immediately and irrevocably change a man. If after a while everything returns "to square one", again act according to the above scenario. Just before re-talking, emphasize that you hoped for his prudence and the ability to understand everything the first time. But if this did not happen, he will have to listen carefully to everything you want to say again.

Husband offends, calls names, tries to demonstrate his superiority at every opportunity? Explain that this behavior is unacceptable. And do not forget to remind him of your love - in most cases this works better than any exhortations.

Svetlana Krutova
Women's magazine JustLady

There are things you shouldn't do in order to win or keep your beloved man. Firstly, because he will not appreciate it, secondly, he will misunderstand you, and thirdly, he will stop respecting you. If you do not do the things that we have listed below, then you have every chance to build and maintain a strong relationship with your beloved man.

Financial aid

You don't have to take on the responsibility of supporting your couple. If you close your eyes to the fact that your partner does not work, referring to the fact that he cannot find a job, is looking for his calling, or a salary that he deserves, then in the end the entire burden of financial responsibility in your relationship will fall on yours. fragile shoulders. And your beloved man will just sit on your neck. Over time, you will begin to understand that he is not going to work, this will lead to quarrels and swearing that destroys your relationship.

Expensive gifts

You should not give your beloved man gifts that will cost more than his gifts to you. To begin with, this can hurt his pride and even offend him if he is unable to spend large sums on presents. If you give your chosen one expensive gifts, or, even worse, try to buy his love and attention with them, and he accepts them without remorse, then you should think about whether he is a real man and whether you need such venal love.

Expensive gifts are more appropriate in existing family relationships, when, by and large, your financial well-being is the result of joint efforts.

A pity

You should not feel sorry for a man, unless of course you want to remain just a friend for him. A man will never love the one who pity him, because his masculine essence will not allow him. He is by nature a male who must be strong and confident in front of his female. You must support him, you can give advice, sympathize, but not regret.

Superiority

You should not show your superiority, point your finger at what he failed. Even if you warned him about something and he did not listen to you, you do not need to remind him about it, believe me, he already knows about it. And with your reminder, you will only humiliate and trample him. By keeping silent and supporting, you will gain respect.

From extreme to extreme

Home, children, family are wonderful and all this rests on women's shoulders. But this does not mean that you should limit your life to only this and forget about your career, friends and your hobbies. No matter how offensive it may be, but housewives who live only by their household chores over time think less and less about their own appearance, your wardrobe and your interests. This can lead to the fact that even a man who loves you will look at more well-groomed girls who look more elegant, sexier and with whom you can talk about something other than everyday topics.

Of course, this does not mean that he will begin to cheat on you, but looking at another and flirting with her, for sure. That is why you should not forget about yourself: work, communication with friends, your hobbies and shopping for yourself must be in your life. But don't go from one extreme to another! Your man will not appreciate if you go headlong into a career or spend too much time with friends, forgetting about home comfort, husband and children.

Appearance

Women love to change something in their appearance: style, hairstyle, haircut, hair color. And it's okay when you want it yourself, but when you do it just because your man likes it so much, but not you, it's strange. And if your man constantly points out that you have something wrong with your figure: the wrong breast size, or you are too voluminous, too thin, etc., then think about whether he really loves you, because when you are only met, then everything suited him, he fell in love with you for who you are and that is how it should be. If a man demands the impossible from you, then he is not worthy of you, do not hold on to him, and perhaps in this way he is simply trying to break off relations with you, without finding other good reasons.

In family relationships there are always some problems and difficulties, because ideal people does not happen, it is worth admitting. Each of us wants to show our character, prove a point of view and just arouse respect from family members. In order to achieve this, everyone uses different methods, because in many ways a person's actions depend on his character.

Often men show their expressionism and make real scandals so that the wife understands that he is in charge here. Every woman wants to avoid this, but sometimes it is very difficult to find a person who is not inclined to clarify the relationship in a raised voice. Relatively recently, scientists in the field of psychology and sociology have proven the fact that the tendency to scandals is transmitted genetically. This means that looking at the father of your chosen one, you can understand what he will be like in a few years. Both genetics and psychology play a role here, because the child grew up in a certain atmosphere. Children almost always adopt the behavior model from their parents.

Why is a part of the male population especially prone to family scandals?

How found out scientists, about 30% of the entire world are representatives of the "scandalous type". It is these men who can genetically transmit their tendency to family scandals. Of course, you cannot be fully insured here, so you have to look for a man, following your heart, but if you notice your lover's father, who is aggressively minded, then think about it.

It is likely that your loved one soon, too, will show his desire to sort things out. As sociological polls show, the wives of such men are often unhappy in marriage, which makes one think about the need to do right choice... That is why it depends on you how your son or daughter will be in a relationship, because a good example also plays an important role in personality formation.

But psychology also plays an important role here.... A man who grew up in a family with constant scandals and hassles will be prone to displaying aggression and excessive emotionality. If dad liked to make a scandal for mom, then the son, looking at the example of his elders, will do the same. This often happens on a subconscious level. Children almost always take an example from their parents, sometimes without realizing it themselves.

If the baby was surrounded by constant scandals and quarrels, he is simply used to it and does not represent the relationship by others. Pay attention to the fact that it is in the family that a person understands the principle of relations between a man and a woman and quickly forms his own view. A man's tendency to scandals can be caused by both a genetic predisposition and a peculiarity of his psychology. At first glance, this character trait is not a problem, but in fact it can lead to the breakdown of the family.


How to identify a man prone to scandals?

1. One hundred percent sure that his opinion is the only correct one of all that exists. He tries to show maximum efforts to convince the interlocutor of the correctness of his ideas and thoughts. Such a representative of the stronger sex can desperately argue, absolutely not admitting that he is wrong. If you try to prove to him that his opinion is not correct, then he will immediately start to get nervous and raise his voice. Such a man can be recognized even on the first date, simply by trying to impose his point of view and point out his mistakes.

2. Jealous of his sweetheart, often even to friends and. Such a man will regularly make scandals about where his woman disappeared and how she spent her time. This behavior causes suspicion even among psychiatrists, because sometimes a man can go to desperate actions in the desire to prove that this woman is his property. The jealousy of a man prone to scandals is always aggressive in nature, and not a simple desire to attract attention to himself. A woman should be gentle and talk in detail about the time spent if she does not want to quarrel.

3. Limits beloved from activities outside the home. Such a representative of the stronger sex will constantly monitor and reproach that the beloved went with her friends to a cafe or visited her beloved mother at the weekend. Such behavior cannot be called harmless in any way, because sooner or later it can even lead to divorce. A man who controls all the actions of his beloved can sometimes scream or hit. He will try in every possible way to prove his superiority.

4. Enough aggressively treats animals and children, proves his dominance in the house and dictates his own rules. In order to understand in the early stages of a relationship if your chosen one is not prone to scandals, just visit him and talk to your family, see how he behaves in his usual environment. Often such a person tries to blame another family member for the situation that has happened, he does not want to take responsibility. His attitude towards the younger ones perfectly characterizes the paternal qualities.

If you do not want to bind your life with a man who is trying to translate almost any conversation into a scandal, then take a closer look at his behavior at the beginning of the relationship. A genetic predisposition to expressiveness and emotionality should become one of the main points for you in the study of your beloved. If his dad can raise his voice to his spouse or make a scandal from scratch, then think carefully before connecting your life with their son.

In families where peace reigns and harmony, decent mentally stable people often grow up. If you learn to identify a man's tendency to quarrels and scandals, then protect yourself from unsuccessful marriages and save nervous system healthy. Men can show their excessive emotionality only after a few years of marriage, but the character of a father will be a great way for you to get to know the chosen one better.

Veronica asks
Alexandra Lanz answers, 12.01.2013

Question: “I read many responses to the letters of other people and noticed that a woman's duty to obey a man is explained by the fact that God created Eve from the rib of Adam. Why did God act this way, can a woman be considered more imperfect than men? Why are they divided in religion? men and women, doesn't God love us all equally? "

Hello to you in Christ, Veronica!

To be honest, I do not quite understand what kind of answers you mean, because hardly any of the respondents on this site expressed such thoughts. What you have written in your question is the dominant ideas in the world that have nothing to do with Biblical truth. In order not to dwell on the analysis of the misconceptions you have listed, I will allow myself to get down to business right away ... Let's just look at how things really are. According to the Bible.

Here is the first mention of the creation of man:

And God said: Let us make man in Our image after Our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea, and over the birds of the air, and over cattle, and over all the earth, and over all the creeping things that creep on the earth. 27 And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female he created them. 28 And God blessed them, and God said to them: Be fruitful and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the air, and over every living thing that creeps on the earth ().

Did anything catch your eye when you read these words? Look again at verse 27: “And God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them " ... In the first case it is said "Made man" and "his" , and in the second "Man and woman" and "their" ... Explicit parallelism, that is, both parts of the statement say the same thing, but in different words.

Here is the second mention of human creation:

"And the Lord God created man from the dust of the earth, and breathed into his face the breath of life, and man became a living soul. And the Lord God planted paradise in Eden in the east, and placed there the man whom he created. ... And the Lord God said: It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper corresponding to him. ... And the Lord God caused a deep sleep on the man; and when he fell asleep, he took one of his ribs, and closed that place with flesh. And the Lord God created from the rib, taken from a man, a wife, and brought her to a man. And the man said: behold, this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she will be called a wife, for she was taken from a husband "().

What conclusions do we draw?

Man and woman are man.

Man and woman were created at the same time, just a woman until a certain time was not a separate person.

The woman was separated from the man, created from the man so that he would have a corresponding assistant, who would be at the same time like him, but not another, far from resembling him in everything.

Pay Special attention not what God did " the corresponding"Assistant. Those. someone not lower and not higher than him, but someone who stands at the same, so to speak, level, although he has a different range of responsibilities and capabilities than a man.

Thus, the woman's duty was not to obey the man, but to to be an appropriate helper for him... Immediately, I hasten to draw your attention to the fact that we are now considering the ideal situation of Eden, where there was no need to wash dirty clothes, stand at the stove preparing meals, wipe the noses of sick children or pull out a car stuck in impassable mud. Hence, the Edenic word "helper" meant something different.

Continuing ... a woman was created equal to a man, but with a different "set" of duties and privileges. And no one, in principle, could oppress or subjugate anyone. Why? Because God arranged everything incredibly wisely and Adam understood this well:

“And the man said, Behold, this is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she will be called wife, for she was taken from her husband. "

If a husband oppresses and oppresses his wife, then whom, in fact, is he oppressing? "It is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh" - yourself, right?

Thus, according to the Bible, a woman is as much a perfect creation of God as a man.

The Bible goes on to tell us how a man and his wife (that is, a man) abandoned God in favor of a serpent. In order to preserve their physical life and give them another chance, God adapted His creation to the current situation. One of the "devices" was ...

“Multiplying I will multiply your sorrow in your pregnancy; in illness you will bear children; and your desire is for your husband, and he will rule over you ”().

This is where the word "domination" appears, which modern men love so much, absolutely not realizing that this situation is the result of sin, not an ideal. This is the first thing. But there is a second, which is much more important.

We tend to misrepresent the word "dominate" very much. We constantly go astray only in the negative meaning of this word: "to be a tyrant", "to crush with authority", "to force" and "everyone must do what I say." The Bible clearly indicates the presence of a positive meaning for this word. In order to see it, let's reflect on these passages:

When the righteous ruling rule multiply, the people rejoice, but when the wicked rule, the people groan.

Mercy and truth guard the king, and by mercy he upholds his throne.

the supremacy of the country as a whole is a king who cares about the country.

If a husband is a king and lord over his wife, then he faithfully fulfills his role only when he himself is righteous, when he lives by mercy and truth and constantly takes care of his kingdom (wife-family).

Let's supplement this picture with the words of Jesus, which will knock out of the saddle any Christian who tries to dominate his wife not according to the Biblical rules:

“You know that the princes of the nations rule over them, and the nobles rule over them; but let it not be so between you: but whoever wants to be great among you, let him be your servant; and whoever wants to be the first between you, let him be your slave ... ”().

It turns out that, ideally, the master of the wife is a servant serving the wife. This is how Christ understands the word "dominate". But it was He who pronounced it when he said "And your desire is for your husband, and he will rule over you" (). He will serve you, protect you, take care of you, be responsible for your well-being.

Sincerely,

Sasha.

Read more on the topic "Home and Family, Marriage":

Beauty & HealthLove & Relationships

How many articles are devoted to real representatives of the stronger sex, but besides them there are those who, although they belong to the male sex, do not behave like men. They allow themselves to be rude, offend and offend women. There are no excuses for this, since they are stronger, but you can fight this phenomenon only by understanding what is the reason that makes them behave so low. So why do men humiliate women? Let's figure it out now.

Why do men abuse women?

The reasons for any actions and deeds are always hidden in the depths of a person's subconscious, and often he does not realize them until a moment comes that forces him to think about why life is not the way he would like, and people around him react negatively to him. At this moment, there is a chance to change into better side... Unfortunately, admitting the very fact that a person is doing something wrong is a great success. Subconscious processes are well hidden from people, and the eternal haste, which does not allow you to stop for a minute to think about whether you are going the right way, generally deprive you of any chances to learn something very important about yourself.

It is possible to understand and realize the hidden motives of behavior and actions with the help of introspection, psychologists or other people who are able to tell from the outside in a calm manner that a person is behaving selfishly and hurting others. The only problem is that such people, especially males, do not want to hear what they are told, and even more so to go to a psychologist (they are not sick) or to engage in introspection (waste time on incomprehensible nonsense), they are deeply convinced that they are doing everything right, and these are those whom they offend, react incorrectly or are themselves to blame.

Change the situation by forcing them to think about their behavior at least for a minute, possibly in exclusively peaceful ways. In moments of calm, it's easy to voice that you, as his beloved woman, are hurt by his words and actions. All this is important to say calmly, choosing words that accurately reflect your feelings and hint to him about the possible reason for his behavior, so that he understands what to pay attention to in order to make sure that you are right or his own. Here, as they say, how will it turn out.

Attempts to convey their disappointment to him with the help of shouts, in a state of rage, when one wants to tear and throw from resentment and pain, will be in vain. When people are shouted at, justifiably or not, they turn on a defense mechanism, or they stop perceiving at all what they are being told, because they subconsciously understand that negative things will be poured on them, which will cause harm, or they will enter into a skirmish to silence the other and intimidate, because they become scared at this moment themselves.

All these processes are subconscious, therefore they are not realized by people, they occur instantly, but knowing about them in advance, there is a chance to avoid new quarrels, because they will definitely not be able to solve the problem. But in order to tell everything in a calm atmosphere, when the right moment comes, hinting what is happening with the person himself, because it is not easy that he behaves this way, you need to know what reasons most often force men to humiliate women, what provoked them and how you can deal with them cope.

Psychologists agree that only weak men, insecure, disliked in childhood, accustomed to such a model of behavior behave this way, this is how their father or men behaved, who replaced him in childhood if the boy grew up alone. People who love themselves know how to feel someone else's pain, even if they are strong men who are used to not expressing their emotions and pity too often. They have no need to raise their own self-esteem at the expense of others. If suddenly they have a little decreased, but there is love for themselves, they will find another way to increase it, without offending anyone, especially women. Insulting and humiliating another person, you, first of all, lower yourself. Decent, self-respecting people will never allow themselves such behavior.

To offend and humiliate ... This way of solving internal problems is chosen by the weak representatives of the stronger sex, who are even too lazy to think about the problems that await them if they continue to behave like tyrants in the future. For some reason, living in a society where such an attitude towards the obviously weak is not encouraged, but, on the contrary, is condemned, sometimes quietly, but condemnation is always present, such men do not bother to think about why they allow themselves such behavior and really are you sure that this will go on forever and will not threaten them with anything.

They may feel that they are not doing anything wrong just because they are afraid to admit that they do bad people, they are too lazy to take care of themselves, because this is also a kind of recognition of their shortcomings. This behavior is cultivated for a reason, it is based on the fact that women who are humiliated by such men are used to behaving like victims. They do not accept their behavior, so as not to worry about it, and do not give them a rebuff, neither verbal or forceful, even in the form of parting with them and deleting them from their lives.

The reluctance to voice well-founded claims and grievances arising from his behavior in a calm atmosphere is due to the fact that then you will have to make a decision: stay and not pay more attention, since she loves him so much, or leave. And to do this is scary, because the status of a victim gives her a lot of advantages, especially since her mother also behaved herself, and such a model of behavior is absolutely customary. Who wants to admit that she is also to blame for the fact that she is constantly offended, and she continues to endure it, without even trying to think, maybe something is wrong with her too.

This behavior of women allows men to humiliate them further, as they feel their impunity.

Why men humiliate women

But only women are not always to blame, after all, they do not deliberately provoke such behavior towards themselves, and only then they react as they can, leave or suffer from too much patience and fear of losing even such a bad, but still a man ... Unfortunately, our society still continues to assess the value of a woman by the presence of a man with her or his absence. It is worth mentioning that a normal man will never humiliate a woman, no matter how she behaves and no matter how tolerant and kind to others. Those who behave rudely are those who themselves feel their own inferiority inside, from which they are trying to get rid of by humiliating those who are obviously weaker than them. Not meeting resistance, they generally cease to see boundaries and continue to violate them more and more sophisticated. Men allow themselves to behave this way due to the fact that their status is not as high as they would like. And they are trying to rise in order to feel at the top, at least against someone else's background. And since it is much easier for them to show strength and rudeness towards someone who depends on them, the more that it is easier than trying to achieve the status they need, they try with all their might. They are afraid to fight difficulties, compete and compete with other representatives of the stronger sex, because they are not confident in themselves and their success, but since the ambitions against this background are generally huge, they need to throw out the accumulated dissatisfaction with themselves and those around them. And a woman looking at him with loving eyes and expressing complete submission ... What could be better for his anger ?! No one will rebuff him, object, say that it is time for you, dear, to take up your own self-esteem, so as not to remain lonely, since any women will run away from you, tired of enduring humiliation. So they humiliate women when their subconscious discontent begins to corrode the soul, and this happens often, the disease is low self-esteem- and remains untreated. Because of her, some feel fear of losing their beloved, and so that this does not happen, instead of getting rid of fear, which is done again by increasing their own self-esteem and self-love, they begin to humiliate, offend and criticize the woman. In other words, destroy her self-esteem to such an extent that she herself believes that no one else will need such a wrong one. Only this happens all the time, since his fear does not disappear anywhere, and he continues to try with all his might, turning a woman into a downtrodden and insecure being, completely dependent on him.

Photo: why men humiliate and insult women

Those who respect themselves and do not want to tolerate such an attitude should remember that there is no excuse for men allowing themselves to humiliate and insult women. They do this because of their licentiousness and unwillingness to respect others, no matter how much they are asked not to do this, and no matter how much society tries to educate worthy men.

Tags: why men humiliate women, why men insult women

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Return to the beginning of the section Beauty and Health


Man and woman. Their relationship is extremely complex and full of dramatic moments. Love and hate seem to exist side by side. No one knows at what moment love and prudence recede, and a flurry of anger and hatred rushes in their place. It is difficult to imagine even in our age a family where such incidents would not have happened. And most often the fairer sex becomes the victims of a rude attitude. What happens to the stronger sex, why is a man able to humiliate and offend his beloved woman? How to protect yourself and what to do to stop it?

Married life is not complete without misunderstandings, disputes, quarrels and serious conflicts. And that's okay. The bad news is that people do not know how to solve their problems. Very often, feeling his physical superiority, a man insults his woman, thereby humiliating her.

The psychology of men and women is different. Representatives of the beautiful half of humanity have a bad idea psychological characteristics men: they are different and much more complex than women. And they do not justify their name at all - the stronger sex. It is only outwardly that they are strong, decisive, tough and courageous. But they are also extremely vulnerable, sometimes sentimental and vulnerable, they do not adapt well to changes in the world around them. Men do not cry: from childhood they are prescribed to restrain emotions. Many of their features play a cruel joke with them. Not surprisingly, they often rip and break.

Assert yourself at any cost

An important psychological feature of men is their desire for self-affirmation. From the early childhood and until old age, in any activity, he tries to assert himself. This trait begins to manifest itself in the family he created. The struggle for leadership can unfold already in the early stages of family relationships and escalate in moments of fading feelings. Dominance in the solution of any issue, ignoring the opinion of the spouse, disdain for her point of view gives rise to resentment in the soul and resistance. Disagreement on some issues can irritate a man and a desire to humiliate and insult her. So the family turns into an arena of struggle for leadership with all the ensuing consequences.

Rivalry

Modern representatives of the fairer sex often have a higher level of education, earn the same as their husbands, and sometimes achieve more in life. They, women, are more resilient in nature. Their confidence and ability to easily and successfully adapt to changing conditions hits a man's self-esteem: next to such a lady, he feels like a subconsciously worthless person. Hence, irritation arises, which in conflicts translates into unfounded insults to a woman.

Men with low self-esteem cannot establish themselves in the workplace or among friends. So they are trying to increase their self-esteem at the expense of their wives, humiliating and offending them.

Aggressiveness

Aggression as a personality trait is inherent in both men and women. Naturally, people have different levels of it. It can also manifest itself in certain situations, as a reaction to any unpleasant life events. Man with high level natural aggressiveness is unrestrained and conflicted. He is distinguished by impulsiveness, unpredictability of his actions and his behavior. He suffers from a lack of self-control. But he throws out the accumulated tension not at work, but on his loved ones at home and, above all, on the one he loves. Sometimes he himself does not understand and cannot explain what caused such a storm of anger and a stream of insults against his wife.

Situational aggressiveness arises as a reaction to internal conflicts generated by various unpleasant circumstances (problems at work, depressed mood, feeling unwell, friction with superiors, material difficulties, failures, mistakes, mistakes, and so on). Aggressiveness requires an exit and splashes out in the form of humiliation and insult to the closest person. It is clear what to carry negative emotions very unhealthy: there is a whole list of serious illnesses caused by restrained emotions. But detente on others is not a way out.

Men of certain types of character (regular, uncontrollable, demonstrative) and temperament (choleric) are distinguished by a rather high aggressiveness. People with one of these character types are ambitious, they have high self-esteem, do not want and do not know how to reckon with the opinions of other people. Only their point of view is correct, and it never changes. Their rude and aggressive behavior has a devastating effect on marital relations. For a woman to have such a partner in life is a real punishment, not everyone is able to adapt to him.

This topic is covered in more depth in the article: Temperaments and conflicts in the family.

Parenting gaps

We all come from childhood, we all go through the school of family relations at that tender age when we still do not know how to distinguish what is good and what should not be learned and done. The pattern of behavior of the father, who constantly insults and humiliates the mother, is absorbed by the children. The boy, becoming an adult, then also refers to his wife. Patience and obedience to the mother and the rudeness of the father become the norm for the girl. Subconsciously, the young man chooses the one that will endure humiliation. And a young wife will never have a question why a man calls names and humiliates a woman. Many psychologists claim that children repeat the fate of their parents and even some events in their lives. Don't believe me? Take a closer look at the acquaintances around you, analyze their fates.

Love and jealousy

He loves, but periodically insults and humiliates his beloved woman, why? Yes, the great passion of one of the spouses is not always good for psychological climate in family. The balance of emotional relationships is disturbed. Where there is love, there is fear of losing a loved one, there is jealousy. Any word or remark from a wife can be misinterpreted by a jealous husband. The pent-up feelings will sooner or later take the form of unfounded accusations and insults that humiliate the spouse.

The character and behavior of the wife

It is not only men with their own difficulties who are guilty of quarrels in the family. Beautiful ladies are sometimes masterly capable of provoking the aggression of their husbands by their behavior. Constant discontent, grunting and nagging, demonstration bad mood and silence (they say, guess yourself what is wrong with me or with us), ignorance or unwillingness to take into account the peculiarities of your half can cause abuse and insults from your husband. His answer is adequate to the behavior of his wife. And what is the stubbornness shown by a woman in insisting on her opinion and the unreasonable tantrums they arrange. He simply does not have enough arguments or the ability to insist on his own. Well, what is not a reason for a verbal fight?

There are many more reasons why men humiliate and insult women. But what to do in these situations? What advice can you give?

Lovely girls! Take your life partner seriously. If during the period of courtship there are even humorous insults or hints of humiliation, then it will get worse: do not cherish the dream that you will be able to re-educate your loved one. Once shown to you, rudeness, as a rule, repeats itself and becomes permanent. Therefore, you cannot endure and be silent, you must definitely respond: discuss and find with your partner the reason for the rude behavior, but only in a calm situation. Never answer abuse with abuse. Dear ladies! If you are being rude from your life mates, do not be afraid to look for the reasons in yourself. After all, we are not always angels. Work on relationships constantly. Everything can be destroyed easily and quickly, but creation requires strength and patience.

Very often verbal aggression is accompanied by physical violence. The relationship between the victim and the persecutor develops. But this is a topic for another article.

Read the article: Tyrant husband: psychological portrait

A QUESTION FOR A SYSTEM-VECTOR PSYCHOLOGIST. Why does a man insult a woman

Is psychology able to explain this? Tired of fighting alone. I am already over 40. The first marriage broke up. Divorce, my husband's betrayal, I experienced very difficult. But finally the pain was gone. I met wonderful person, fell in love. We got together. Everything was wonderful, he cared, looked after, was very gentle. But this did not last long. After a short time, he began to indulge in insults at me.

If a man offends

Living with an embittered and controlling man - he constantly tells you what you should think, and tries to instill in you doubt about the value of your own feelings and values.

Some women may feel that reading this book is overwhelming. Take a break, hang out with friends, family, and others who can support you. While I hope this book will clarify a lot for you, the process can be painful.

If a man insults a woman

Answer the offender, starting with the phrase: "This will be the same case ...". When your interlocutor points out his superiority to you, turn that superiority against himself. For example, you were reproached for your immaturity and that you need to be taught everything. Answer such a statement as follows: "This will be the case when the student initially knows much more than his teacher." Of course, it can take some time to think about the answer, but the faster you react to the attack, the more effective your objection will be.

Compare your opponent to a less flattering object than he compared you.

Women's magazine ONIM

The reasons for this behavior of men can be varied. In most cases, from men who cannot boast of a particularly high status, "house tyrants" are obtained. After all, inside each male (be it a hammerhead, a cat or a man) has a desire to be the "leader of the pack." Therefore, the one who failed to realize his ambitions in the surrounding society, proves his “strength and masculinity” in the family, demonstrating in every way “who is in charge of the family”.

How to improve relations with your husband Part 2 Husband constantly insults and humiliates

This article is a continuation of the article “How to improve relations with your husband Part 2 Why does my husband not understand me? ”And now we will talk about situations when a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife. Why is this happening in many families, what is behind male rudeness, how to react to it and what can be done about it?

There may be several reasons why a husband constantly insults and humiliates his wife.

Is it possible to insult a woman

Is it okay to insult a woman? This question unconditionally has a negative answer. But, unfortunately, in many situations something else happens. So, for example, in some families, over time, everything becomes not as ideal as it seemed before. Disclosure in progress life together characters causes some conflicts, scandals, and in especially acute cases, personal insults and fights. If at some point your husband lost his temper and insulted you, you need to try to forgive him and try to forget about this situation.

Insulting a woman by a man

By the way, about psychology. The couple with whom we went to the sea broke my brain completely this week. I did not know that there are such psychologically illiterate couples. In general, I rarely communicate with couples, sometimes with friends alone, sometimes with a TIGER and his friends without wives, and then a week together I know what I would like to do as a psychologist - to educate people how to communicate with loved ones.

Why does a husband insult his wife

Eh, male men, well, what happens to you after a few years of married life, why do you stop being so attentive and courteous as on a honeymoon? Where does this rampant anger and bilious insults come from? You say the reason is in us, the nymphs who love and cherish you? But what is the true essence of your aggression.

The candy-flower period in any relationship ends sooner or later.

Why does a man offend a woman, human psychology

Behind the most important day of every woman - her wedding day. A significant dress weighs in the closet, the photographs are printed, and there is something to remember. So family life begins.