For several years now, Ford Motors Company has been asking engineers, who are mostly men, to periodically wear the Empathy Belly, a fake pregnant woman's belly, so that they can feel for themselves what pregnant women feel, including back pain, pressure on the bladder and 10-15 kg excess weight. They even feel the “fetus” kicking. The idea is for engineers to imagine the ergonomic difficulties a pregnant woman experiences when driving: cramped conditions, changes in posture and center of gravity, and overall clumsiness.

It is not known whether Fords have become better as a result and whether consumers have appreciated the company’s efforts, but engineers claim that it is useful for them. They also experience the blurry vision and stiff joints of older drivers using the old age suit. These disguises allow one to “put oneself in another’s shoes,” which Henry Ford claimed played a major role in the success of his business.

Empathy is all the rage; it covered more than just Ford and more than just engineers. It is the foundation of design thinking and invention. It is presented as an important quality for a leader - something that helps him influence the organization and anticipate reactions different groups interests, respond to requests from followers on social networks, and even conduct better meetings.

But recent research proves that all this enthusiasm is not very justified. Without empathy, it is truly impossible to manage others. But everything is good in moderation; too much even in this matter can have a bad effect on work and individuals, and the organization as a whole.

Problem 1: Empathy is exhausting

Like any complex cognitive task—such as keeping a lot of different information in your head or focusing in the midst of noise and chaos—empathy drains our mental strength. Therefore, work that requires constant expression of empathy can cause “empathy fatigue,” that is, due to constant stress, deprive a person of the ability to empathize, and lead to emotional burnout.

Specialists engaged in the field of medical and social assistance- doctors, nurses, social workers, correctional facility staff - are at risk because empathy is the essence of their work. A study of hospice nurses showed that the main factors behind “compassion fatigue” are psychological: anxiety, emotional trauma, and the tendency to sacrifice one’s own needs for the sake of others. Overtime and excessive workload also play a role, but less than is believed. A survey of Korean nurses found that feelings of “compassion fatigue” indicated their intention to leave their jobs in the near future. Other studies of nurses have found other consequences of compassion fatigue: absenteeism and frequent medication errors.

Employees are also at risk charitable foundations and other NGOs like animal shelters. People do not stay in such organizations for long, partly due to the specific nature of the activity itself, which requires empathy, as well as low salaries, which make this work more like self-sacrifice. Moreover, society has formed very strict ideas about what NPOs should and should not do, and any attempt by them to operate like an ordinary business - say, to invest in their development in order to function smoothly - is met with hostility. It is assumed that NPOs are satisfied with the dedication and endless compassion of their employees towards their beneficiaries.

But in other areas, without sympathy for people, there is nowhere. In order to motivate their professionals, managers must understand how these people live, what they strive for, and what meaning they see in their activities. Customer service representatives must continually reassure consumers who are on the phone complaining about their problems. Empathy is exhausting in any job that involves empathizing with people.

Problem 2: Some win, others lose.

Empathy not only depletes mental and intellectual strength - it exhausts itself. The closer a person's emotional connection with his spouse, the more he moves away from his mother. The more his mother means to him, the less emotion he has for his son.

Researchers have studied how emotional relationships at work are reflected at home. To do this, they interviewed 844 people from different professions, including hairdressers, firefighters and telephone operators. It turned out that people with whom colleagues at work often shared their problems and worries found it more difficult to delve into the affairs of home. They felt emotionally drained and admitted that at work they could not breathe from other people's worries.

It happens that while we experience empathy for “our own people,” we lose the ability to sympathize with those who are not part of our inner circle. Due to the uneven distribution of energy and time, a imbalance is formed, and it increases, since the “reserves” of our empathy are not unlimited: if we mainly spend our feelings on “our own people,” then our connection with them becomes stronger, and the desire to communicate with strangers becomes less and less .

Another effect arises, somewhat more unexpected: aggression of “friends” towards “strangers”. Nicholas Epley of the University of Chicago and I studied people's reactions to a group of terrorists, that is, "outsiders", and the most terrible ones. We divided the volunteers in two: some were placed with friends (in this case the empathic connection was activated), others with strangers. We asked the participants in the experiment how much they agreed with the statement that terrorists are not people, whether they can be tortured by simulating drowning, and how much electric shock is permissible for them. Those in the room with their friends turned out to be the most bloodthirsty: they most resolutely insisted on torture and humiliation of the terrorists.

Although our experiment examined an extreme situation, its conclusion also applies to organizations. Sometimes sympathy for colleagues provokes aggression towards other people. Most often, “insiders” simply do not want to waste mental energy on “strangers,” and because of this, people neglect the possibilities of cooperation between departments or organizations.

Problem 3: Empathy distorts the moral sense

Finally, empathy sometimes causes people to make ethically incorrect judgments. This is confirmed by research into reactions to terrorists. But often it is not a matter of aggression towards “strangers”, but of excessive loyalty to “our own”. When we look at things through the eyes of people close to us, we unwittingly perceive their interests as our own. And then we may not notice their mistakes or behave not in the best way.

Many studies show that people cheat more often for others than for themselves. They justify their dishonesty with false altruism. The matter is made worse when they want to help someone who is in a difficult situation or who has been treated unfairly: they are even more willing to lie or cheat for the sake of someone they sympathize with.

At work, empathy towards colleagues makes it necessary to hide various types of abuse, and when the secret becomes clear, loud scandals usually occur. In many organizations, cruelty, sexual harassment, and fraud were discovered by outsiders who had no connection with the perpetrators.

Along with Liana Young and James Dungan of Boston College, I studied how loyalty affects regulars on Mechanical Turk, Amazon's online job market where employers offer jobs to users for money. At the beginning of the study, we asked some volunteers to write essays about loyalty, others about justice. Then both of them found out that some of their colleagues on Mechanical Turk were outright slackers. Those who wrote about loyalty were in no hurry to expose dishonest acquaintances. This result complements that of another study, which found that bribery is most common in countries that particularly value collectivism. Belonging to a group often forces people to put up with violations and not feel responsibility for them, which seems to lie with everyone and no one in particular.

This means that empathy for “our own” may contradict the principle of universal justice.

Keep empathy on a short leash

It seems that these three problems will never be eliminated. But managers can take some measures to mitigate their manifestation.

Find a measure of empathy. To begin with, ask employees to focus on a specific group of people, rather than being in the position of everyone (some are more inclined towards clients, others towards colleagues). Then relationships and discussion of points of view will not be emotionally draining as before. In addition, by distributing “empathy” among employees, you will achieve more in total. For each individual, empathy is a limited resource, but when it comes to the entire company, it is limitless.

Don't turn empathy into self-sacrifice. Raising or lowering the “threshold” of empathy largely depends on the psychological mood. For example, if, while negotiating, we believe that our interests contradict the interests of the other side, then the main question for us becomes who will win whom. (And often negotiations reach a dead end precisely because opponents see only what divides them.) A negative attitude not only prevents us from understanding others and responding appropriately to their words and actions, but it also makes us feel as if we have lost. if you don't get yours. Disappointment can be avoided by striving for a mutually beneficial solution.

Here's an example. Salary negotiations between an HR manager and a job candidate will turn into an endless, exhausting confrontation if both have only money in mind, and different ones at that. And if we assume that the most important thing for a candidate is to get permanent job, and for the manager to reduce staff turnover, then it would be beneficial for both to supplement the contract with a clause on job security for the candidate.

Empathy is a depletable resource, but it can be saved. If you don’t follow your feelings and mood, but ask questions, you can find optimal solutions.

Give people a break. I teach two subjects, management and organizations, and I am outraged that students treat them - leadership, teamwork and negotiation - as ancillary "people" disciplines. Understanding and responding to people's needs, interests and desires is the hardest job in the world. No matter how much we say that empathy occurs naturally, it takes great mental effort to find out what is on another's mind and respond with empathy.

People need a break from technical, analytical and mechanical work. From empathy too. Think about how your subordinates could take a break from it. It's not enough to allow projects of your own (and which only increase your workload), as Google does with its 20 percent "me time" policy. Allow people to devote some time only to what interests them. According to a recent study, people who take frequent pauses are more empathetic to others. When they restore their mental strength, it is easier for them to delve into the problems of others.

How can you give your subordinates a break so that they stop thinking about others for a while? Some companies buy “capsules for meditation and relaxation” like Orrb Technologies cameras: in them you can isolate yourself from the world, comb your thoughts, and restore strength. At McLarren, drivers of F1 supercars are trained in such cameras to concentrate. And electrical equipment maker Van Meter has found an easier way: When people go on vacation, their email is turned off so that nothing intrudes on their privacy.

No matter what, empathy at work is needed like air. Therefore, bosses must ensure that their subordinates spend it in moderation.

When you are trying to take the place of another person, you don’t have to imagine what he feels, it’s better to talk to him about his feelings and problems, says Nicholas Epley in the book “Intuition. How to understand what other people feel, think and want.” The validity of his advice is confirmed by the findings of a recent study. Its participants were asked whether, in their opinion, blind people could live and work without assistance. Some of the respondents, before answering the question, had to perform some “physical” tasks blindfolded. Volunteers who experienced the role of blind people rated their ability to live independently as lower than others. They involuntarily imagined themselves in such a position (in which it would be very difficult for them). The rest tried to understand what it means for a blind person to be blind. This finding explains why Ford's idea of ​​forcing its engineers to wear Empathy Bellys isn't very fruitful: the designers might misjudge the challenges pregnant women face behind the wheel. Talking to people - asking about how they feel, what they think, what they want - is more correct: this is how you can draw the most accurate conclusions. This method does not require much effort, because in this case there is no need to make guesses, just collect information. Showing empathy this way is much more reasonable.

There is an established and deep-rooted belief among sellers: it is necessary to defend the interests of the company to the last, making efforts to convince and convince the client. There is a common joke that a marketer is a weak salesman.

These opinions are quite understandable and obvious - since you work in a company, your salary is paid in the company, then the interests of the company should be above all. Once again, when I hear this, I always correct it: in general, the client pays for everything, and wage paid to all employees from the money paid by the client. Having heard this, sellers immediately agree with what was said - they, like no one else, understand that the loss of a client means a lost bonus. So when is it necessary to defend the interests of the company at any cost, and when is a compromise with the client on the client’s terms the best that can be?

A case about marketing, but not about sales

Today I discussed with a colleague, a marketing specialist from the European Union, a case that was funny for us and quite obvious for sales and marketing practices there. A client approaches a car dealership with a request
I just bought a new car from you, I drove only a hundred kilometers on it, but now I have broken my arm and I will not be able to use the car for a long time. Can I return the car to the dealership and get a full refund of the money I paid for it?

So, shall we return the client’s money? Should we hang the worries of selling his used car around our necks?

“Empathetic does not mean a doormat,” in this or another formulation, the answer from the head of the company will be obvious
“Perhaps if the sales plan for new cars is adjusted,” the seller will say.
– What will we get in return? – perhaps the marketer will ask.

It is quite obvious that we all seem to be doing the same thing. We all understand that the client’s money determines well-being, but the reaction to the client and his problems is obviously completely different. Why?

Why do you like me?

  1. The owner builds an economic relationship with the client, in which the measure of the quality of the relationship is the profitability of the client;
  2. Put commerce at the forefront commodity-money relations, which are based on the ease of exchanging goods for their monetary equivalent. The simpler and more stable, the more “he came and brought the money himself,” the more profitable the client;
  3. And only a marketer’s brain explodes, because he must think:
  • about whether this customer will buy tomorrow?
  • How can a step towards meeting a client be used for PR purposes?
  • Doesn't this open up possibilities?
  • or is this a problem that will require adjustments to positioning and promotion strategies?
  • How can refusal to make concessions affect the reputation of a company or brand?
  • and so on and so forth.
Thus, on the one hand there are economic realities, on the other – marketing opportunities.

What distinguishes marketing from economics?

Very often I say the phrase: “the most complex events in life can be described by a couple of simple formulas from physics, chemistry and mathematics.” Let us now try to describe the complex in simple terms.

Economic efficiency formula, by which economists, managers, investors, salespeople measure everything they try to do:

Profit = S × C - Cost - Expenses

S – average check;

Or like this:

ROI = S × C / (Cost + Expenses) × 100%

If the costs are low and understandable, success will be obvious; it is enough to ensure revenue - “kick” the sales people in order to provide a greater “C” and not allow them discounts that reduce the “S”. There is a simple three-factor model: “number of clients – low costs – profit”.

Commercial efficiency formula

Revenue = S × C
Where:
S – average check;
C – average number of purchases for the reporting period,


It is quite clear that the pursuit of customers by sellers is justified, because this ensures revenue growth. And their manager will force them to keep prices and does not allow them to “drop” the average selling price. It looks like a simple two-factor “cardinalist” model: “number of clients – revenue”. The number of contacts, calls, meetings, shipments characterizes the usefulness of the manager. The number of purchases during the reporting period is the customer’s utility.

Marketing Effectiveness Formula

LTV = S × Kt

Where:
LTV – customer lifetime value;
S – average check;
K t – number of purchases for all time t

And this also takes into account all the suffering and languor that every appearance or disappearance of a client causes marketers, but that’s not all...

Reporting period

Do you understand what the difference is? Economics operates with such a concept as the “reporting period.” Everything that happens to costs and income should ideally fit within the reporting period. If something doesn’t fit, then at the end of the reporting period we get unreliable or incomplete data, “minuses” in profit, future income and other unreliability that is inconvenient for current analysis. The reporting period is usually a month and a year. If, in an attempt to keep costs low and improve profitability, you avoid costly deals and strange clients, the balance of benefits and costs will converge. What will happen in the next reporting period is a matter for sellers and marketers, and these are the problems of the next reporting period.

Of course, under pressure from commerce, economists agree to such a “disgrace” as a rolling reporting period (month, year), when performance indicators are taken on the current date and a month, quarter or year before this date (say, not from the 1st January to January 31, and from February 22 of this year to February 21 of the next year), but the important thing is still missed - life is not measured by the reporting period. A relationship with a client cannot fit into a month or a year. Long trades cannot be closed in a month, no matter how hard you try. Until the end of the quarter, money from the client does not want to come to the current account...

Various models

Would you like me to show you with an example how economic efficiency differs from marketing efficiency?
Here's a case...


1). Economy first month is this:
500r - 1300r. = - 800r.
The first month of attracting this client brought you a net loss of 800 rubles.
The economic conclusion is simple - advertising in Yandex Direct is not effective, we don’t advertise anymore

2). If you continue to track the client’s purchases, then...
Economic efficiency advertising and customer interaction further:
-800r. + 1200 rub. = +500r.

3). In the third month:
+500rub + 2000rub. = 2500r.

4). Thus, this client brought you in three months: 2500 rubles. - 1300 rub. = 1200r.

Now let's imagine:

  1. What if this client, having clicked on your advertisement, did not buy anything at all on the site, but came with a wad of money to your offline store? What about the effectiveness of your advertising? it turns out that it is not effective at all, because there is no evidence of the root cause of advertising in the purchase of this client? So, dear performance advertisers?
  2. What if in the first month the client wanted to return the product to you for one reason or another, and you refused him... The offended client did not buy from you over the next months, and besides, he posted a negative review, which drove two more clients away from you.
  3. But there are also long sales, there are... There is a client who can easily visit your website in the first month and not buy anything at all. He will look and go away to think for a month...
Introduced?

Here is an obvious difference in the approaches to assessing the effectiveness of customer relationships using an economic (accounting) model and a marketing one. It is this non-mathematical complexity of relationships, which cannot be represented by a simple two-factor dependence (ran - received), that makes marketing incomprehensible to businessmen and financiers. Well, they don’t understand - it happens, but this is life, this is how the market and the clients live on it!

And yet marketing...

Friends, it is very important to find an opportunity to provide for the needs of those people for whom you work, but the interests of those for whom you work force you to empathize with people. Without this empathy, you cannot move them and your relationship from where they are stuck. Without product returns, debt restructuring, rebates if they... and schemes for taking into account their non-standard interests, you cannot help your own company, in the end, move in the direction in which you strive.

But it is quite possible that your analysis of the possibility of complicity will lead you to the point where you need to say no. Of course, a customer's request to a car dealer to return a car is a selfish request. The dealership may suffer losses if refunds and re-sales are difficult and costly to manage.

However, empathy does not require you to take money out of your pocket and give it to a client who, moreover, undermines the business you created to serve others. Deciding whether to satisfy the client completely, partially, or “send” him away is, in each case, different decisions, but one must be guided not only by the economy of the reporting period, conscience, but also by LTV.

And if the marketing value of this client is not great and the client is deservedly “sent”, then empathy should still be present. It is that you see his pain and show it to the client. The fact is that you understand that if you refuse, you will most likely lose him forever. The point is that you are truly very sorry for this loss.

The delirium of the request should not at all cancel the search for reserves for sympathy and help, or at least careful attitude to the client and accuracy in communication with him. It is also true that the lack of reserves and the reluctance to continue relations with this client is often due to a completely incorrect model for calculating the profitability of clients, from reluctance, from the “reporting period” and from “this is our policy”...

Understanding what is written by businesses and owners is an attempt to look at it as a marketing specialist, not a marketing manager, but as a “marketer.” Finding reasons to continue contact with customers is the marketing philosophy and the marketing approach to market activities. It’s the marketer’s task to convey this to the comms.


Empathy allows us to better understand other people. For a child to learn this, it is important to allow him to experience his own feelings: cry, get angry or be happy. Psychologist Tatyana Karyagina spoke about the reactive crying of a baby, overcoming egocentrism, mature empathy and how parents can develop empathy in children.

As I begin to talk about developing empathy, I would like to first express some concerns I have. The more we learn about some of the brain mechanisms of empathy, the more neuroscientific data appears, the stronger the tendency to understand empathy as something automatic, involuntary, reflexive. Something that the brain does for us. But this is not at all true, from my point of view.

Empathy is very human, it is conditioned and mediated by culture, speech, norms and rules of human society, and moral values. We learn empathy by reading books, watching plays and films, and communicating. This is how we develop empathy. And if we proceed from the position of the domestic cultural-activity approach to psychology, then I usually talk about the development of empathy as the development of the highest mental function according to Vygotsky. Or we can talk about the development of an ability that appears and develops in activity.

Where does the development of empathy begin? The first and earliest empathic reaction is the infant's reactive crying. When a baby cries when he hears another baby cry. Very ingenious experiments were carried out, during which it was established that this was a special cry. It is not like others: neither when the child is hungry, nor when he is simply frightened by noise, even if this noise matches the cry of another baby in frequency and volume. If we talk about brain mechanisms, we can assume that when a baby hears another baby crying, parts of his brain are activated that are activated in him when he feels so bad and cries. And a certain, as they say, vicarious, substitute experience of someone else’s experience appears. The baby expresses this experience in the only way available to him - by crying.

What does a fairly good mother do when a child expresses his condition either by crying, or by smiling, humming, or laughing? Firstly, a good enough mother mirrors, reflects, his condition, facial expressions, his sounds. Secondly, she names his condition and explains it, even if it is a completely newborn baby. She says: “Oh, my little one, you feel bad, you’re hungry” or “Oh, you were scared that mommy left.” And, of course, she consoles him. She says: “Mom is back, mom will always come back, mom will always be with you.” It’s not so much words that are important here, but intonation, gestures, and touches.

If we look at the mother’s behavior, we will see the beginnings of all the strategies of experiencing and coping that the child will learn, internalize and then apply to himself. But his mother also gives him a model of empathy, a model of how to respond to the experiences of another person. It either gives a good sample or a bad sample. If we imagine a child to a mother who tells him “stop yelling, I’m sick without you,” then we can imagine what will happen to his empathic ability. The period of the first year of life, symbiosis with the mother, is a period when they have one divided attention, divided experiences, divided feelings and divided empathy.

What happens next? The child leaves this symbiosis and separates. In relation to empathy, this manifests itself in the fact that he already understands that now he feels bad, but in fact it’s not bad for him, but bad for his mother. And so Dutch scientists conducted a massive study and described good examples children's behavior in situations where the mother or a stranger or acquaintance (were different situations) experience negative emotions.

Here is a girl’s mother who hit her leg, expressing her pain, what does a girl do at 17 months? At 17 months, she is at first very alarmed, then lies down on the floor, repeats her mother’s movements and the sounds that her mother makes, and says with an intonation of conclusion: “Mom is in pain.” At 22 months, in a similar situation, she is also a little alarmed at first, and then immediately rushes to her mother, hugs her, and consoles her. In the second year, the manifestation of empathy becomes regular.

What's important here? Firstly, the quality of relationships with the mother and with other close adults for the child. Research shows that these are the most important factors in empathy. On the other hand, of course, the characteristics of the child himself are important, his temperament, sensitivity, emotionality, strength nervous system and so on. It is very important that parents talk to their child about feelings. Reading fairy tales, watching cartoons, they discuss what is happening, what the character feels, whether he did the right thing or the wrong thing, why.

But it is very important to let the child experience his own feelings. Live them fully, do not suppress or prohibit them. Because if you tell him “boys don’t cry”, “no one likes a crybaby” or “you can’t be angry with your grandmother”, “a girl should always be friendly”, he will not fully experience these feelings and he will not understand himself. And if he does not understand himself, how will he understand another? If there is no sympathy for his feelings, why would he show sympathy for the similar feelings of others? And indeed, research shows that this is a very important factor. If parents adhere to such rigid rules regarding feelings, then their children are less likely to empathize. This was traced there until adolescence. And what's even sadder is that they are less inclined to help others who find themselves in some kind of bad situation.

A very important moment is the moment when the child acquires decentration. He emotionally and intellectually overcomes his egocentrism. In relation to empathy, an interesting observation is that a child stops bringing his toy as a consolation to another. That is, before, if his mother felt bad, he would bring her his favorite toy, which consoles him, as a consolation. Now he understands that mom will be consoled not by a toy, but, for example, by a cup of tea or her favorite candy.

Around the age of three, intellectual factors become very important for the development of empathy. This is manifested in behavior by the fact that the child begins to actively ask questions: “What happened to you?”, “Why?” He makes predictions about how long it will last. Somewhere at this age, a mental model is formed, a system of ideas about how internal mental life works, how desires, intentions, actions, and feelings are connected. And all this knowledge begins to be actively involved by the child in his behavior, in his response to the state and feelings of another person. If everything goes well, then adolescence intelligence, coping methods, and self-regulation systems mature and develop. And it is very important when a system of moral consciousness and moral convictions takes shape. They are introduced, of course, very early, starting with the rules of politeness, with early childhood. But when all this comes together, we can talk about full-fledged, mature empathy.

After this, empathy continues to develop. Because the whole life is ahead, partnerships, parenthood, friendship are ahead. And this is a training ground for the training and practice of empathy, continuous, lifelong. And for some, empathy will still be included in professional activity. I'm talking about helping professions: doctors, psychologists, social workers, rescuers, teachers, nurses.

Empathy as our inevitable reaction to human pain and suffering, empathy as a very important factor in motivating us to help another person in a certain way should be included in this professional activity. And this is quite a serious test both for empathy and for the person who possesses this empathy.

Tatyana Karyagina, candidate psychological sciences, senior researcher at the Laboratory of Consultative Psychology and Psychotherapy, Psychological Institute Russian Academy education, member of the Association for Understanding Psychotherapy.

Comments: 0

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Surely, like any normal person, you experience exclusively positive emotions when you realize that the one with whom you are communicating understands you; when he empathizes with you, thereby providing emotional and psychological support that is so necessary for all of us sometimes. In we already touched on a similar topic, but then we talked about how to learn to show empathy in yourself. Now we will talk about the other side of this issue - how to awaken empathy in other people.

To begin with, it will not be superfluous to remember that empathy is a person’s ability to understand the feelings of another and his willingness to provide him with emotional support. Those. his ability to put himself, for example, in the place of his interlocutor, to empathize with him, to perceive his internal state to the same extent as he does, retaining all the semantic and emotional features.

The interesting thing is that empathy is not associated with emotionality. So, for example, there are people who are not at all emotional, but with a pronounced ability for empathy. However, the development of empathy directly affects the development of a person’s emotionality, because it promotes intense emotional and sensory experiences.

If you look at this issue from a purely psychological point vision, then people’s ability to empathize is considered quite normal. There are even special techniques with the help of which people’s abilities for empathy, as well as its levels and characteristics, are revealed. The spectrum of empathy covers a fairly large area. This can be either just a short-term emotional outburst or a deep immersion in inner world and the experiences of another person. Experts are inclined to believe that empathy is carried out through the emotional perception of almost imperceptible manifestations of the states of other people, such as gestures, speech patterns, facial reactions, actions, etc. In addition, researchers note that empathic people are fully aware that the experiences they experience are a reflection of the feelings of those with whom they interact. Otherwise, this is no longer empathy, but self-identification, because It is a person’s awareness of his feelings as a reflection of the feelings of another that is a qualitative indicator of empathy.

It would not be amiss to note that in science fiction literature, people’s ability to empathize is often equated with extrasensory ability, which is not available to most people. But this type of empathy should be compared rather with emotional telepathy, because thanks to it, one person is able to perceive the inner experiences of another even without direct contact with him, “transmit” his states to him at a distance and do many other amazing things. But this form empathy has not yet been scientifically proven.

There are two types of empathy: cognitive and emotional empathy. Cognitive implies the process of logical determination and understanding of the human condition. Emotional, in turn, is carried out on a sensory level and is very deep. Not everyone can experience deep empathy. But it is precisely thanks to it that a strong invisible connection, complete mutual understanding and spiritual closeness can arise between people. But how deep the empathy between people will be depends, first of all, on the level of empathy that each of them possesses. And in order to learn to show empathy in another person, you first need to determine its level.

There are three levels in total. First level is the lowest. People with the first level of empathy are most often self-centered, concerned exclusively with their own thoughts and feelings, and practically do not care about the conditions of those around them. Second level– average, and typical for most people. People with the second level are focused not only on themselves, but periodically pay attention to the thoughts and experiences of others. Third level– the highest. People with the third level are quite rare. They almost always perceive the experiences of others, understand them deeply, which is why they can give the most effective recommendations. They say about such people that they know others better than themselves. They often become excellent psychologists or move from the category of strangers to the category of those closest to them.

Having determined the level of empathy to which a person belongs, you can already build a further strategy to awaken this ability in him. It is best to do this purposefully, having previously set a goal together with him to awaken empathy, because it seems difficult to accomplish this, regardless of the person himself, because he must take direct part in this process. Below we present some of the most effective recommendations to help develop empathy.

  1. To develop empathy in another person, it is necessary to develop the cognitive sphere of his personality, i.e. develop mental processes such as speech, thinking, memory, perception, attention, imagination, representation, sensation, etc. Methods such as various tests, games and trainings are perfect for this.
  2. To awaken the ability to empathize in another person, it is recommended to use techniques that can help a person expand and understand their emotional and sensory experience. These include techniques for reproducing certain emotional states and sensations, as well as their stimulation. Again, these are special exercises and games.

Examples of games that correspond to these two points include the following:

  • “State determination” - a person reads fragments of texts or looks at various images and tries to determine and describe the mental and emotional state of the person who wrote the text or represented in the image.
  • “Eyes and gaze” - a person watches the change in the expression of the other’s eyes and tries to give an accurate definition of his emotional state. You can also give him the task of recording in his nonverbal behavior any changes in his own state.
  • “Gestures and posture” - a person, similar to the previous exercises, observes the gestures and postures of living or depicted people and tries to describe their states. A similar exercise is “Sounds of Voice.”
  • “Free dance” - a person tries to immerse himself in the inner world of another, observing his movements. It is very convenient to use silent films, video recordings of ballet, mimes and various types dancing.
  • “Photography” - by studying the appearance of the people depicted in the photo, a person must determine not only their emotional and mental state, but also try to describe their lifestyle, the events that they experienced, etc.
  • “Gifts” - a person remembers the most memorable gifts and tries to return to the feelings that he experienced when he received them, his environment at that moment, life situations And so on.
  • “Emotion training” - a person is given the task to portray an emotion or enter a certain image.
  • “Eye to eye” - one person stands opposite the other. Both look into each other's eyes and try to convey a variety of emotional states through their gaze.
  • Other exercises: “Transformation”, “Empathy”, “I through the eyes of others”, “How people laugh”, “Associations”, etc.
  1. To activate empathy in another person, you can also use various methods to develop the humanitarian aspect of his personality. For this purpose, various tests are used to determine values, character traits, communication abilities, creative potential, imagination, etc.
  2. The development of empathy is greatly facilitated by the process of artistic cognition, i.e. reading interesting books, drawing, empathic listening, practice, listening to music and other ways in which you can influence a person’s inner world.

To summarize, I would like to say that, by and large, everyone needs to develop the ability to empathize. This will help us understand more accurately, determine our train of thought, and better perceive others. Empathy makes it possible to find mutual language even with the most seemingly unsuitable people for this, make new friends, achieve great success, introduce novelty into your life and contribute to favorable changes.

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Below we bring to your attention several questions, by answering which you can assess the level of your empathy, based on the material in this article.

A) Am I influenced by other people's emotional states?

B) Do I actively empathize with the characters of films and books?

Q) Does the attitude of others towards me affect my behavior?

D) Do I easily gain trust in people?

D) How easily can I imagine myself in someone else’s place?

E) Do I have the ability to accurately imitate someone?

G) Do I often understand people without words?

People who do not sell anything to customers, but only observe them (cleaners, cloakroom attendants, receptionists, etc.) often know more about the needs of customers than employees who are motivated to sell. This is how empathy works - the ability to “stand in the shoes” of another person, and therefore understand his pain. The managing partner of the service design agency Inex Partners talks about how to teach empathy to your employees and use this superpower.

The fashionable word “empathy” is the ability to empathize with other people. This is a physiological feature of our brain, it is believed to be based on the activity of mirror neurons (responsible for imitative behavior, they “decipher” for us the feelings and emotions of another person based on his facial expressions and gestures). Essentially, empathy makes us understand the feelings of another person and, due to this, leads to a decision that we would make in his place.

But only similar experiences can truly help you understand someone else. Having felt “in your own skin” the client’s pain, knowing his needs and principles of decision-making, you will be able to offer him even what he may not have thought about yet, but what he desired deep down. This creates a new customer experience, and with it, motivation to choose your company again and again.

Companies that align their efforts with the customer's perspective increase the satisfaction of existing customers and more easily attract new audiences. That's why Apple's customer service training program includes a separate course on empathy.

What empathy can do for business

Freedom from scripts and personalization of solutions

If an employee asks himself the question: “What exactly does a person need right now?” - he no longer needs scripts. He is more like a doctor who makes a diagnosis based on symptoms and customizes treatment than a mover who rearranges boxes.

Fast reaction according to the client's wishes

Internal empathy - the understanding that an employee shares the client's pain - allows the company to respond very quickly to feedback from the front office, quickly change processes in the company and make them as convenient as possible for employees and clients. In some companies, customer happiness managers appear, whose task is to make customers feel good.

Employees become agents of change

One of our retail clients asks retail store employees to write every evening about the problems that customers encountered during the day. All information is sent to the central office, and at the end of two weeks, field employees receive a report on changes in work adopted based on their feedback. This creates trust between employees and the company.

How to include empathy in business processes...

Check the level of empathy among employees at the stage of selecting people for the company

There are certain tests for this: applicants are shown faces or photographs of other people and asked to determine what emotion this person experienced. People with developed empathy determine this very quickly.

Send new employees “to the fields”

Let them observe clients and then share what they saw - because empathy develops through observation.

Self-experience

A top manager should periodically live through the experiences of employees and clients and share what he has discovered.

Show empathy towards employees

And they will learn to do this for clients - mirror neurons will help.

...and why it's difficult

Established opinions about others

It seems to us that we already know everything about our clients. We have statistics, reports, a secret shopper - and that's enough for us.

Business focuses on past performance

All decisions are made based on trends and statistics. Sales forecasts are based on data about how much you sold in the past and how much you want to sell in the future. And the question of what we can offer the client does not arise.

Culture of shifting or spreading responsibility

People often say: “We need to talk to the client,” “We need to pay attention to the client,” and very rarely: “I want to ask the client.” The tasks are formulated abstractly.

So, in job description The call center manager is written that his main task is to answer calls, work with objections and create customer loyalty to the company. In fact, his first task is to listen to the person; the second is to continue listening even if the client is screaming; the third is to find a solution that will maximally help the client solve his problem; fourth, if possible, show the person how the company cares about him.

Empathy in action:
How researchers got used to the experience of Shokoladnitsa clients

In the fall of 2016, our service design agency received an order to prepare the rebranding of Shokoladnitsa. The chain's managers are accustomed to comparing it with other Russian coffee shops. But we immersed them in a different environment - we flew to Paris and went to coffee shops there, and then discussed what they saw. Benchmarking in Europe made it possible to disconnect from Russian standards and the sense of know-it-all - in unfamiliar conditions, a researcher who is able to notice unexpected details “turns on.”

After the first hypotheses (about how the behavior of coffee shop visitors depends on the duration of the visit, purpose and company), it was important for us to see the context of the client’s life in Russia. In October-December 2016, we conducted an ethnographic study for Shokoladnitsa to detail the customer experience.

Observation

At first we simply observe people - we look at their behavioral patterns. When the client arrived, what did he order, did he leave a tip, did he argue with the waiter, how long did he spend in the coffee shop, and with what face (happy or not) he left. Based on observations, a “customer journey map” (CJM) is compiled.

In-depth interviews

Based on the results of the first and second stages, we create a list of questions for in-depth interviews. We collect stories of the worst and best visits to cafes - usually people are willing to tell which experience was the most critical for them.

When they share stories, it's like they're showing us the tip of the iceberg. And by asking questions, we find out what problems they solve, what goals they want to achieve, why they went for this service or product and why they stop using it.

In one of the in-depth interviews, an elderly woman who has been going to Shokoladnitsa since Soviet times said that visiting the coffee shop helps her feel modern: “I come there and watch the young people. And I’m starting to feel like I’m one of them.” This was an insight: we, as researchers, never perceived Shokoladnitsa as a place where people come to make sure that they are in trend - we believed that people only come there to eat. But it turned out that older people for whom it is very important social adaptation, get the feeling of being modern in coffee shops. That is, it is not the “Chocolate Girl” who is growing old with them, but they are getting younger along with the “Chocolate Girl”.

Another insight: we saw that in the evening customers want a different menu, a different atmosphere (candles, more subdued lighting). As soon as Shokoladnitsa began introducing new scenarios for evening visits and changed the principle of serving dinners, it received an additional flow of customers, an increase in evening sales and an increase in the average check.