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Desire and fear to look at each other in the eyes came to us from the animal world. Before the predator attacks his sacrifice, he intently looks into his eyes. Or when one of the predators takes his eyes, he immediately becomes defeated. Next, we will analyze the reasons why people are dismissed. It happens that at the same time there are several reasons. And what they are more, the more unrealistic to find the strength in itself, so as not to take a look.

What kind of reasons for which a person takes his eyes away. And how to learn to look at a person during a conversation. Talk about it further and give specific examples situations.

Fear

Fear rolls up and takes not only the ability to look at the interlocutor, but also to express his thoughts. It is necessary to learn to reduce adrenaline in the blood, and do not allow him to spill out every time a collision with the boss. For example, how would it seem funny to you, imagine it naked in the shower and in soap, fake-eating pop. Did not help? Then mentally disconnect the water and the light. And How? Is he no longer so terrible? By the way, the husband reacts to the question of his wife: "Where were you?". Although under this question, all other reasons for which the husband takes his eyes from his wife, having heard this replica.

This is a conversation between the popular child and his father or mother. How to look into the eyes if you are asked: "Who broke the vase?" Well, it is clear who, even the cat is clear that now you all hang on it.

It is fear to take responsibility, the desire to shift it on someone else, softness and constant misses.

Well, finally become adults! No need to blush from shame, it's time to come to the Rumyanta from pride for myself.

This is when the guy knows that yesterday kissed a friend's girl, but he doesn't know about it. And he begins to hide a look so that a friend could not read anything there. Or a girlfriend yesterday told the nasty to another, and today they drink cute together cute and eat sugar donuts in the beloved bistro.

Kotya Life Method - for weak people. Only the cat can nourge the owner in the sneakers, and then approach him and start purring and straighten.

Uncertainty

The man with all his appearance "falls on the blade", that is, it takes a glance and immediately recognizes the defeated. I'm a little fish, unless I can argue with sharks.

Well, look at yourself! Well, what a tulka you are when we are algae. Do not burn the gods. Everyone is mistaken. There are no ideals. Brewell - you are waiting for loud things!

What if someone see what you are inside? He will look into the soul and finds out that you are not a teacher of junior classes, but a maniac on the nickname "Pila-10". Or vice versa, yes, you are not a teacher of junior classes, but a kind wizard, so you don't want someone in the shoes to go through the palace of your soul.

A person does not want others to let himself in the soul. Therefore, do not show the doors - eyes through which it is elementary to get into the spiritual temple.

This is when a person, even if he is a thousand times right, smarter and successful interlocutor, it will seem that everything is wrong, but exactly the opposite. He is a loser, slim, nothingness. And his interlocutor of the Lord of the worlds. And do not look at you better and closer? Maybe he simply owns a closer look.

It happens that man really unpleasantly look into the eyes of another. Wheel, hates, ignores, but you never know what - everything is not loved!

The reason may be one or a whole arsenal. But what to do when you need to overcome and force not to get a look? You need to work on it. And without practice simply won't come out.

Next, we offer several rules, techniques and methods.

Watch the TV and watch the look of the hero or winner, for example, a boxer look before a time or politics listening to a journalist's question.

Write your bright moments on video and scroll them. So far just look and study how others do.

And now this glance, try to repeat - do not bring eyes off myself. Yes, it's easy. First, you are not smarter than, secondly, not afraid, and thirdly ... throughout the list, which is above. For such a look in the eye, the interlocutor needs the power of will, masculinity and confidence.

Learn to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, it does not mean peeking Ema right in pupils.

Do not look at a person to one eye, then in another. So your view will be running, cowardly and non-permanent. Watch him for the nose.

This is the optimal, most correct option that will never fail.

Now expand the area, go from the bridge to the triangle - eyes, nose and lips.

From the side of such a run away from the locations of "dislocation" of your view is not as noticeable, but the maneuverability will give.

Breathe calmly

Show all your kind of calm, confidence and relaxation.

If you break down to breathe, then the interlocutor may seem that you are preparing to jump, to the attack and clearly slip it.

Calm, only calm!

Technique is very interesting. Are you not afraid of passerby? That's it! And you must be afraid. In terms of practice, it is quite interesting method Turn your steel look, but from the point of view of the bruise under the eye ... So look intently on weakly and crap, although it is here .. He will definitely take his eyes, it will be retisive and you will just follow the worst of his painter, which is trying to dissolve in the crowd.

You also have lateral vision, and the occipital eye. Everything should work. Then you do not have to look around and turn on every sound. Imagine - you are a car. You have glass ahead, mirrors on the sides and above the head. You see everything around, so calmly see ahead and masterfully lead the car.

During the glance, take a look, but not just to the side, but in the case. For example, look at the glass and take it in hand.

You must learn to let go of the interlocutor and reduce your grip.

It is important for it to be comfortable? We need to watch a man in the eyes, and not devour it with his eyes.

You must program yourself to some thing. The subject should be small and always be with you if you forget it, then remember it in detail. But it is better not to forget. He will serve as a kind of talisman, charm. At first, you must choose this item - a coin, pendant, ring. Or as in the film "Start" - a small yula. At home, looking at him to talk affirmations - installations for positive, strength, wealth. In a word - will talk to the subject for good luck.

Installation for luck

Here the main installation on time to pick up. This is a complex, but very effective method.

• When you will be at the peak of Glory, good luck, triumph, do some action - hold the fist, show any positive combinations of fingers or come up with something else.
• This state must be fixed - to give an anchor into the good luck area.
• And then, in order to take himself in the hands and watch the interlocutor in the eyes, do the exact same movement or draw it in detail in my imagination.

Remember how the cartoon about school is drawn? You need to say spell and mentally click the tail. If the "anchor" was installed correctly and works, then when performing an encoded action, the good luck state starts on its own.

Not 0

To the look of "eyes in the eye" we are in different situations Treat differently. Many people feel uncomfortable when someone looks right in the eyes, but the avoidance of a straight look can offend.

"He doesn't look into the eye," they speak the people. And are there any generally accepted rules to whom you can look into the eyes, and who does not?

Children

It is undesirable to look into the eyes of someone else's child. In the old days it was believed that children are more than adults are susceptible to the slohal. any man It may negatively affect the health of the child, to attract failure into his life.
So with your own children, such contact is necessary. It allows you to establish a link between the parent and the child, otherwise the baby may feel unnecessary, he may have problems communicating and subsequently in his personal life.

Unpleasant people

Surrounded by each of us there are people, after communicating with which the well-being deteriorated sharply. Someone calls them energy vampires, someone is convinced that they can join or damn damage. But anyone else they are, do not watch them in the eyes. If they try to do this, try to avoid such contacts and generally reduce communication with them to a minimum.

Gypsy

Gypsies try to establish contact with their victim with eyes to influence its subconscious and stretch more money. Even if you are absolutely confident that you do not add to hypnosis, it is not worth the experiment. If a gypsy spoke with you - take a look.

Representatives of other nationalities

If Europeans or Latin American look at the conversation in the eyes of the interlocutor is considered normal, then in other cultures not so simple. So, among Americans, if men look at each other, it can be interpreted as a sign of intimate interest. Arabs, Georgians, Armenians, Turks, a woman should not look into the eyes of a man, during the conversation she should look into the floor. The Chinese look "Eyes in Eyes" is considered indecent: talking to each other, they look somewhere in the chin area.
Russians are not accepted to edit someone's gaze. During the conversation, it is considered the norm to look into the eyes of the interlocutor, but not for long. If you do not assure someone from someone, it will probably make a person nervous. He will think that either you have intimate interest to him, or you try to influence it somehow, or just kidding me.

People of the opposite sex

Long view of the "eyes in the eye" in our tradition means that people like each other and would like to get closer. But not always a person is ready for such a look. A girl who does not drive a completely extraneous man, in the absence of an appropriate interest in him, it is unlikely to like, as well as a man who stared in the eyes of a foreign woman, can feel discomfort. Such "glades" are appropriate if you have already begun to develop some kind of relationships and it is mutual.

Hasional ranks

Traditionally, it is considered invalid to look into the eyes of royal policies, superior officials or simply chiefs. At the very least, you should not install visual contact with them first. This suggests the desire to subjugate the interlocutor. If you look into the eyes of a person much higher than you in the rank, he will most likely take it like an incompleteness on your part, and your further communication will be easy to fold.

Criminals

To look into the eyes of criminals, especially recuridated, is also not recommended. Many of us mistakenly believe that, looking into the eyes of such a type, you can "replay" it. However, it is not. Direct view such people perceive as a sign of aggression and in response can attack you. The criminal world has its own laws, and such communication may result in deplorable.

The ability to confidently look into the eye of the interlocutor depends on the severity of such character traits as: self-confidence, courage, shyness and hardness.

A few seconds of visual contact can give a person more information than 3 hours of frank conversation. It is because of a strong flow of information that is constantly looking in the eyes of the interlocutor psychologically difficult.

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Causes of lack of visual contact

The reason why a person does not look into the eye to the interlocutor may be due to its own internal complexes or be a kind of reaction to the unpleasant personality of the interlocutor. Scientists allocate the following reasons:

• Imtensifier. When a person is feeling a sense of love or interest in the interlocutor, he may be shying that the object of sympathy in the eyes guess his feelings;
• Guilt;
• Diffidence. Deep mental excitement is also manifested by the habit of sorting by something with fingers during communication;
• The desire to deceive the interlocutor or to draw any information;
• Feeling of fear. Subordinates are often afraid to look into the eyes of the boss;
• Lack of interest in the interlocutor. Another feature can be attributed to a constant glance at the clock, sowing, interruption of the conversation, for example, phone calls;
• Unpleasant interlocutor. Some people become in themselves due to a heavy permeating look. There is a desire to take eye and rather stop communicating.

To learn how to proper behavior during a conversation, a person needs to train confidence in himself and that he says. The following psychological techniques will help to achieve:

• It is necessary to listen carefully to the interlocutor, only sometimes glanced in the face;
• At the beginning of the conversation, it is not necessary to try to look straight in the eye, it is better to quit a common look, not focusing on where he is directed;
• You should not watch the interlocutor on the nose, the look at the same time becomes grain and unpleasant;
• When conversation, gestures should be added, it gives a sense of control over the situation;
• During the conversation, try mentally to keep the interlocutor by the shoulder or stroke the hand, it will help calm down and gather;
• Watch directly into the eyes of the interlocutor when communicating is not more than 5 seconds, then you should smoothly dug your eyes to the side, and after a while, after a while again;
• Follow the expression of your face, control emotions. The person should reflect the friendly, goodwill, conversation interest.

Why doesn't a person look in the eyes? There is a common opinion that he tells the wrong and intentionally hides her eyes not to issue his real intentions. It may well be true, but there are still a number of reasons, because of which the interlocutor specifically avoids visual contact. A person may not look into the eyes due to the characteristics of his character, temperament, lack of courage, or insecurity. Quality forming in each of us is expressed in different ways, this affects that the person is sociable and how he behaves when talking.

A man when talking does not look into the eyes - these are the main reasons:

Ensure

This fact is confirmed scientific research. A person knows that the glance can give feelings, so deliberately assigns it. Many lovers are trying to hide their increased interest, because they are afraid, openly declare their feelings or are waiting for the right moment. If at the same time your interlocutor blues in addition and starts talking to some nonsense, then in love here is there!

Diffidence

Such people are difficult to communicate with others, because they are constantly experiencing that they will think about them. A uncertain person rarely looks into his eyes, and often makes it a furtively, because he is very concerned about his mental experiences and thinks how best to behave when talking.

Heavy view of the interlocutor

Such people are often referred to as energy vampires, which, as if on purpose, "burst" with their gaze, wanting to suppress and show their superiority. A heavy, gaze of the opponent seems to permeate the interlocutor, causes discomfort and causes unpleasant emotions. In these cases, the visual contact is given very difficult, so many try to avoid it, for example, lowering the eyes into the floor.

Irritation

Some persons may tire attempts to close visual contact by the interlocutors, they think that they are trying to end in something bad and feel unpleasant emotions and irritation about this.

What the interlocutor says is absolutely no interest

If the designated indifferent look is combined with the scoring, and with whom you are talking to, often looks at the watch, it means that it is necessary to stop this dialogue as soon as possible, since it is non-integrative. In this case, the meaning of verbal and non-verbal exchange of information is absent.

Intense information flow

For a few seconds, close visual contact can be obtained a very large amount of information that is equal to the many hours of frank communication. Therefore, even with a trusting conversation, friends sometimes take a look to distract and digest the information received.

Why does a person closes his eyes when talking?

A pretable look means an accurate concentration of attention on a specific object. A narrow-minded look can talk about increased tendency to criticism and ill-advisivity, as well as issuing worried of this person. Covered half-eyed interlocutor when talking point to its overestimated self-esteem, arrogance, discouragement, and complete inertia to the events taking place.

If the interlocutor closes his eyes without much voltage, without closing them, it means that he tries to abstract from external events. Such self-insulation helps well focus on thinking about some kind of task, reflecting on the upcoming events and enjoy sensual visual images.

Considering the situation in the complex, it is quite possible to understand why a person hides his eyes when talking.

Do you always need to look into the eyes? Types of views

Your interlocutor looks down and somewhere aside, it always produces an unpleasant impression: whether we are unhappy, whether they do not listen, but only pretend, whether the smell is frightened.

It looks not straight into the eyes of the interlocutor, and always a schos, turning the face of the captain. It seems that you are not trusted, suspected of something.

Watch improved. A feeling of confrontation appears, as if you are hated and everyone is ready to answer "No".

A running look causes a feeling, as if before you, it is always defended, to the extreme of the man's unsure.

Non-taxable drilling, crewing look. They say about him: "heavy." Do you despise? Want to subordinate? In particularly sensitive - frost on the skin from such a look. He was specially developed some dictators. To facilitate the task, they looked at the imaginary point between the eyebrows of the interlocutor, which is why this look is sometimes called central.

Many speakers say as if for themselves, although they hold out quite freely, they look at the clouds. They are like indifferent - you have interest or not. Conduct - and leave, just not to interfere with it.

There are people who, looking at you, constantly pushing, often lips them express a light smile. It seems to you, they are filled with or disagree with what you say. No, they are not going to object, just silently enjoy the feeling of their own superiority.

How to look into the eyes of the interlocutor: several rules

The one who is currently listening, looks into the eyes significantly longer (it is logical: it is less busy). Talking more often takes the look, thinking over the next phrase, and it is quite normal. It often happens so that you are talking, and your interlocutor looks into your eyes only until you do the same, but you should try to catch his eyes, he immediately assigns it.

Remember this unpleasant feature: I do not get into the eyes without removal, I do not get a look, is also a bad manner. The interlocutor seems as if his "probed", he will be nervous under such a look. See calmly, good, directly turning the face to the interlocutor. Keep the optimal distance on which you both are comfortable. If you have to look at the urban or schos, try to control yourself with a volitional effort until the proper manner does not look like you are familiar.

If you are several participants in the conversation (even if they only fulfill the role of listeners), then it is necessary to periodically look into each other. Another thing is that more views go to those who lead in a conversation, but if you look into the eyes only the leader, the rest will feel unnecessary. Of course, when you are in front of you a thousandth audience, then everyone does not look in the eyes, but the visual contact is still needed.

There is a kind of label look: for comfortable communication, the interlocutors should look into each other about 2/3 of the total conversation time. But this does not mean that it is necessary to look at the focus, without breaking down: the optimal duration of the view is about 10 seconds.

Also, the etiquette requires that the bodies of the interlocutors be deployed to each other: to say "over the shoulder", "in the cold" or at all turning his back - impolite. In any case, the face must be addressed to the interlocutor: the view of the spark is not for business communication.

It is equally unpleasant when the interlocutor looks at you in the emphasis, nor for a second I do not get an eye ("thrills a look"), and also when he looks away almost all the time, showing that the conversation is not interested in him. True, it happens that all the time a person's eyes are insecure, shy and timid. But such uncertainty and timidity does not paint a business person. In addition, it is worth remembering that the stubborn reluctance to look into the eyes most of the listeners consider a sign of lies. In fact, this is not always so - but it is necessary to reckon with this "folk admission".

It also happens that the interlocutor looks at you, but as soon as you try to catch Him look - immediately removes the eyes. It is also very unpleasant when the interlocutor looks sophisticated. All these are bad manners, but control their facial expressions and the direction of view is harder than words - therefore even the most pupil people Sometimes there is an obscurity of the view.

What other rules contains a view of an eye? You should not consider a person too much intently: a friend nor unfamiliar. This is especially important if he has physical disadvantages. In addition, it is indecent to look at a person who eats.

The "point of view" point depends on the situation. For business communication It is customary to look into the eye to the interlocutor or to the point between his eyebrows. With a friendly relationship, the glance slides on the face of the interlocutor, between the eyes and mouth. The look, wandering between the eyes and breasts of the interlocutor or descending even lower, is suitable only for intimate communication: in the business situation is a violation of etiquette.

When you talk with a few people (even if they just listen to you), you need from time to time to look with each. Of course, more often look at the most active interlocutor, but if you look into the eyes only the leader, the rest will feel unnecessary.

And last: for comfortable communication it is necessary to see the eyes of the interlocutor - so when talking it is necessary to remove dark glasses. Even glasses with a slightly darkened glasses create awkwardness, violate the atmosphere of communication.

Sources:
https://glaz-almaz05.ru/blog/interesnye/chelovek-ne-smotrit-v-glaza.html.
http://proeticet.ru/1_glaza.html

This is a copy of the article located at It has long been a statement that in the eyes you can read everything that happens in the soul of a person: its experiences, dishonesty or, on the contrary, sincerity. Therefore, a direct eye view always means, first of all, the openness of a person. And only the one who has nothing to hide, be afraid or ashamed of something can be discovered.

Thus, when the girl does not look into the eyes, she is most likely one of these feelings. It is worth noting that the concepts of fear, shame and secrecy are not identical here. To find out the cause of the problem, try to analyze the behavior of the girl. After all, depending on the cause, you need to choose the tactics of your actions that can prevent non-infractions.

Personal experiences

First, remember that your girl is a full-fledged person, and she has a personal life. In this personal life there may be a mass of events that you do not even guess. Therefore, if there is a look from your eye, you should not immediately look for problems in yourself or suffer yourself to the victim of treason.

If your relationship has not yet reached the level of trust, then the girl can be proud enough to disclose his spiritual experiences and events of personal life. Therefore, such a point just may contribute to the strengthening of the thread of confidence. Try to ask the partner that it happened, asking indirect unobtrusive questions, so as not to scare.

Look in my eyes

This phrase is often used when one person is trying to figure out if his companion is telling him the truth. If the girl assures that everything is fine with her, then you should pay attention to other circumstances. Perhaps you are really cheating. It is very difficult to tell a person in a lie and at the same time looking to look into his eyes. Psychologists note that this insurmountable instinct comes from childhood: the kids always close their face when they tell a lie.

If your suspicions are more and more confirmations, it is worth talking to the girl, asking her direct questions. Hints you are unlikely to find out something in such a situation, and an open question will put all the points over "and", since it will not be for retreat.

What is the girl afraid?

Your relationship began quite recently? Then it is not surprising that your partner avoids direct views.

The girls are often shy of their new cavaliers and proximity to them. Therefore, any hint of this very proximity gives an inexplicable result. Recall that a continuous eye view in romantic scenes commonly ends with a kiss. Maybe such an outcome and your girl is afraid, especially if she is introvert, and you have not kicked up. Fix such a situation with straight conversations will be an error. Extra words can take away the charm and romance at the beginning of the relationship. Nevertheless, try your actions to seek confidence that will help the girl to open.