Greetings, my dear readers. How often have you encountered deception in your life? I would guess that it is not as rare as we would like. But there is a lie that hurts much more - these are lies in family life. Today I would like to talk about why a man lies to a woman and what can be done about it.

Pathological deceiver

I am a categorical opponent of any kind of lies in relationships. For me, let there be a bitter truth. Any problem can be solved if the partner speaks honestly about his grievances. Then you can understand what to do about it. And when you encounter deception, you first have to identify this lie, understand why your spouse lied, and only then solve the problem itself. You see how difficult the path through lies is.

Men cheat on their loved ones for various reasons. One option is that your lover is a pathological liar. The psychology of such a person is that he often does not see the forgery. He creates his own world in which his words are the purest truth. Such people believe what they say.

Someone I know is an excellent example of a pathological liar. He lives in his own reality, in which he is a noble prince on a white horse. He respects all women, seduces them, and tries to make their lives happy. But the problem is, he's lying. He's lying about all this. In fact, he simply considers himself one. And within the relationship, it turns out that he is rude and rude to his girlfriend, although in public he says that this cannot happen to him and has never happened. He secretly spies on his women. But mistrust is the first sign of an unhealthy relationship.
It is impossible to prove or simply explain to such people that they are lying. As the aforementioned acquaintance says, “Until you admit to a mistake, it doesn’t exist and it’s just speculation.” Even if you are caught in bed with someone else, you can always make excuses and make your wife stupid and incomprehensible. This is such strange logic.

Pathological deceivers struggle to maintain the precarious balance of their world. They perceive any external pressure as an aggressive attack. No matter how much I try to talk with that young man, he is sincerely convinced that he is right. This is one of the first signs. A person is afraid to question his life. Someone who has nothing to hide will be happy to listen to someone else’s opinion, which differs from his own, and try to try it on himself. Pathological liars cling to their beliefs with a death grip so as not to violate the fragile lie on which everything rests. After all, as soon as you reveal yourself to one lie, the whole string trails behind it.

Lies in the name of salvation

Another option why a man cheats. He thinks it will be better this way. You know this maneuver, I will lie so as not to disturb the person’s mental state. Why would I tell my mother where I actually spent the night, she really doesn’t need it, it’s better to say that I was with a friend. Here is an example of a white lie.
The husband lies that everything is fine at work, although the salary has not been paid for the third month and he constantly has to get out. But he does this so that his dear wife does not worry again, does not get nervous. If we talk about the acceptability of lies, then this is the mildest option. There is a real sense of caring for your partner here.

I have met couples in which the wife is well aware of such lies from her husband. She simply endures in silence and waits for the man to resolve the situation himself. And this option is possible. Another girl cries because her boyfriend is deceiving her in this way. But he continues to repeat, “After all, he is doing this for my good.”

In such a situation, everything depends only on your own attitude towards such things. If you don't mind little lies that are perpetrated in the name of your peace of mind, then move on with your life. If even this form of lying is unacceptable for you, then you should have a serious conversation with your lover.

Lying out of fear

Another option for deception is fear. A young man lies that he has an apartment and a car out of fear that his girlfriend will refuse him if he does not have the attributes of a successful life. The husband lies to his wife that he stayed too long at work, although he and his colleague went to a sports bar to watch the match and drink a glass of beer. But he is afraid that if he tells the truth, his missus may begin to “blow his brains out.”

This version of lying occurs in relationships in which there is no trust. After all, if you completely trust your partner, then you will not be afraid of his reaction to your actions, words or thoughts.

Lying out of fear shows how incapable a person is of taking responsibility for his actions. If a person lies and continues to do so more and more often, it means that he has serious problems with responsibility. Only a self-confident person can admit his mistakes, mistakes and say “yes, I did it.”

Fear is a very strong feeling that sometimes forces people to do things that they would never agree to if not for such circumstances. But few people understand that in a relationship there should be no fear of a partner. What then, in general, is the point of love intimacy if you are afraid, fussing, inventing a more plausible lie?

How to respond to deception

When a man is caught in a lie, he can react in several ways: Continue to insist that he is right; start making excuses; to be honest. Women should remember one thing. Young people often resort to deception in order to avoid quarrels, hysteria and scandal. When you catch your beloved, remember this. By giving him a hard time, you simply may not achieve anything.

You must speak calmly and quietly. Without raising your voice or resorting to any personal insults or humiliation. It would be best to think through this conversation in advance. What exactly do you want to ask? Consider his answers and reactions. What will you do if he confesses or vice versa?

What to do if a man does not want to admit to his lies? Honestly, only you yourself know how long you will be willing to endure such antics. Remember that you cannot correct a person. You can either change yourself, change your approach to the issue, or break up if it’s more comfortable for both of you. Don't try to make a man fit you. He is who he is. You are able to change yourself.

In my opinion, in a healthy and harmonious relationship, partners are not afraid to tell the truth. And when some difficult situation occurs, they sit down and talk frankly, trying to find a way out of the situation. I hope you can achieve this in your relationship.

You may find two books very helpful: John Gray " Men are from Mars, women are from Venus" and Alan Pease, Barbara Pease " Why do men lie and women cry?" Maybe you will find some interesting thoughts and ideas there.

I hope I was able to help you understand this issue at least a little and gave you a couple of ideas for further action. I am confident that you will solve your situation and be able to build strong and trusting relationships.