"I do not love you anymore!" These words often come as a shock to a woman. How to react? How to live further? Will the fading of feelings lead to separation or can we try to revive the marriage? The wife faces a difficult decision: let her husband go and agree to a divorce or try to breathe new life into the relationship.

My husband has fallen out of love: is that so?

A sudden coldness in his gaze, a lack of confidential conversations - all this can lead to the idea that the husband no longer loves. This situation becomes a real nightmare for those women who devoted themselves entirely to their family. It is difficult for them to imagine themselves without their loved one. How to determine whether your spouse has actually fallen out of love?

Reasons for cooling that are not related to feelings

If you ask women by what signs they will understand that their partner has stopped loving them, they will probably say that he:


Experts say that decreased libido, inattention, and withdrawal are associated with stress or overwork. Perhaps the husband has problems at work that he does not want to involve his wife in, but cannot distract himself from them. Prolonged depression, rare intimate contacts, irritability may be signs of depression or other diseases.

Signs of lost love

Are there obvious signs that indicate a cold husband? Yes, these include the following:

  • wife insults;
  • finding fault with appearance and behavior with the intent to offend;
  • ridicule, especially in the presence of other people;
  • threats, shouting and blackmail;
  • physical violence.

A person who uses psychological violence and raises his hand is unlikely to love his partner. He can find an excuse for his actions and swear his love, but such a marriage has no future. You should think carefully before continuing such a relationship.

What to do?

There are often situations when a wife knows for sure that her husband no longer loves (we recommend reading:). Perhaps he himself said so and proposed to dissolve the marriage. Psychologists say that the suffering from the betrayal of a loved one is comparable to the pain from the loss of a loved one. What to do if your husband has fallen out of love (see also:)? Experts give advice on how to behave in such a situation.

Let go and move on

Letting go of a loved one is not easy. It’s not worth keeping a man next to you who directly says that your feelings have faded away. Sooner or later he will leave. How to survive a breakup?

It is worth breaking off contact with your husband. Even casual communication will give rise to mental pain. Try to change the situation. A vacation with friends will help you get over a breakup. Don't limit your contacts with other men. At first, meeting new people will be difficult, but over time, communication can develop into a relationship.

Hold. At any cost?

Some women decide to fight for their love. When choosing such tactics of behavior, you should determine why you want to maintain this relationship. If a woman feels that life is impossible without a partner, another man will never look at her, and her age or appearance will not allow her to build a personal life, it is better to consult a psychotherapist. This behavior does not look like love, but like emotional codependency.

How to behave as a wife

If your husband says that he has fallen out of love, you need to bring him into a confidential conversation. The first reaction may be shock, anger, tears, but you should try to restrain yourself and sit down at the negotiating table. Perhaps the man will be able to name a specific reason that led to the fading of feelings - this will help decide what to do next. If the reason for the cooling was feelings for another woman, you should not try to compete with your mistress, because the one who betrayed you once will definitely set you up again.

Many women begin to surround their husband with excessive attention, try to change his appearance, and attract him with delicious pies. This behavior causes a backlash and pushes you away even more. Don't forget that you are a full-fledged person. Engage in self-development, education, meet with friends more often. Make it clear that after the divorce you will have a rich and interesting life. Perhaps the man will look at you in a new way.

What to change in the family structure

Having learned the reason for the cooling, a woman should think about her behavior:


Will the children be saved?

Some women, seeing the cooling, try to get pregnant and give birth to a child in the hope that it will strengthen the family. Why you shouldn't do this:

  • if a man has decided to leave the family, he will do it, and the children will not hold him back;
  • the child must be planned and desired;
  • According to statistics, many marriages break up in the first months after the birth of the baby, so pregnancy can only speed up the separation;
  • the woman will project onto the child a feeling of resentment towards her ex-husband.

Even if the man remains out of a sense of duty, such a family cannot be called happy. Love will not flare up with renewed vigor, and the growing baby will feel the tense relationship between the parents.

If there are already children, wives often begin to appeal to feelings of guilt or threaten a ban on seeing the child. Such behavior will not add respect or love to the woman, and the child becomes just a subject of manipulation between the parents.

Never do this! Mistakes of wives

It is difficult to pull yourself together and think through a plan of action when you find out that your husband no longer loves you. Many women make mistakes that make the situation even worse. What you should never do:

  1. Having an affair with another man. Wanting to cause jealousy, a wife may cheat with another man. However, this will only speed up the breakup - the husband will now have a good reason to separate.
  2. Trying to make you feel sorry. You shouldn’t invent illnesses for yourself, quit your job, or talk about your own insignificance. This behavior will cause irritation and aggression.
  3. Blackmail with children. Many husbands love their children, but by trying to play on parental feelings, a woman will not achieve her goal. On the contrary, a man may try to convince the court that the child should live with him and not with the mother.

Getting over a breakup is not easy, and maintaining a good relationship with your ex-husband is even more difficult. Whatever decision a woman makes for herself, to let her husband go or to fight for her love, visiting a specialist will not hurt. It is worth inviting your husband to go to a family psychologist together. Perhaps it’s working on yourself in a psychotherapist’s office that will help you regain your former love.