The dangers of selfishness 250 words. What is terrible about selfishness? You are selfish. Is it good or bad

Selfishness. This is selfishness, preference for one’s own personal interests over the interests of others, disregard for the interests of society. Undoubtedly, people with this quality bring not only troubles to others, but also grief. Russian literature has given us dozens of literary egoistic heroes. But I think the most striking character is the heroine of L.N. Tolstoy’s novel “War and Peace” Elena Vasilievna Bezukhova.

Let's remember the princess. How charming she is! How perfect! It is no coincidence that Pierre is afraid to approach her; he only admires from afar this “queen” of St. Petersburg

salons. And Prince Andrei admires her victorious beauty! At first, the author talks about Helen’s lack of even a shadow of coquetry. But this is just the beginning! The beauty of Elena Vasilievna is a mask behind which hides a selfish nature. You can object to me: “Why shouldn’t a beautiful woman love herself, take care of her own benefit, and neglect other people’s interests for her own?” But because Countess Bezukhova, living according to the inexorable law of fulfilling all her desires, sometimes insignificant, brings evil, immorality and vice into life.

Let us remember how she, having “bewitched” Count Bezukhov with her beauty, married him to herself.

Selfishness drives her actions: not loving Pierre, she goes down the aisle with him. Not for the sake of creating happy family, birth of children. No! She wants his fortune. Maybe later the heroine will repent of her actions? And he won't think about it! With a rich husband, she will take a lover. She doesn’t care about Pierre’s suffering or people’s condemnation of her actions. Selfishness and calmness are the motto of Helen’s life. Let us remember the ugly scene of Pierre’s explanation with his wife after his duel with Dolokhov. How arrogantly and selfishly Bezukhova behaves! She, a harlot, is sincerely outraged that Pierre dared to defend his dignity! Helen doesn't understand the cynicism of what she's talking about! She doesn't care at all about her husband's suffering! Here it is, selfishness, which brings moral torment to other people!

Without any embarrassment, this entertaining person introduces another admirer, Boris Drubetsky, into her husband’s house, as if having fun, brings Natasha and Anatole together. Pierre was right when he shouted at her in rage: “Where you are, there is debauchery and evil!” Do you think the Countess was offended?! No, a mean, triumphant smile appeared on her face, which so outraged her husband. It is at this moment that Pierre pronounces his verdict on the entire selfish Bezukhov family: “Oh, vile, heartless breed!”

It would seem that the heroine can no longer surprise us with anything! But it does it! At those very moments when all of Russia rose up to fight the French invasion, the countess amazes us with her selfishness. She is far from worried about the fate of the Fatherland! At this moment, Bezukhova is solving a personal problem: how to get married while her husband is alive and which of the applicants to give preference to for her hand. Very important questions for the time when the French are near Moscow!

I think the examples I have given prove that selfishness is the first step of meanness, cynicism and betrayal. And that's why he's scary.

Guilt play

It is very unpleasant to hear such words addressed to you as “”, “you think only about yourself”, “you only know to do what you want”, “”, etc. Almost always, these words are used by manipulators to play on a person’s feelings of guilt, even if and unconsciously. Parents often use this method, thinking that, but this is manipulation, not education, and children feel it. We must admit that selfishness is a completely normal and healthy phenomenon for humans. A person has needs and wants to satisfy them; demanding another person satisfy his needs, to the detriment of his own, is irrational; this will cause aggression and conflict. How to establish contact without losing your inner freedom? You need to learn how to communicate correctly. The main problem of all conflicts is that people often cannot convey information to each other, do not hear, or rather do not want to hear each other. This requires communication and analysis skills that can be trained. To begin with, it is important to determine the difference between female and male egoism.

Female egoism in relationships

A man shows selfishness by directly expressing his desires and needs, doing things at his own discretion, the key is directly. Women's egoism works differently. A woman, if she wants to subjugate someone, then she begins to serve him, thinking that the subject will reciprocate and, out of a feeling of gratitude, will become a servant. For example, a grandmother actively runs the household, washes floors, windows, cooks for everyone, while she complains that her loved ones are ungrateful, although no one called the grandmother to this activity. In this case, the grandmother, with her work, wants to subjugate her loved ones; if it is a daughter or granddaughter, she will achieve a successful result. Women are ready to make serious sacrifices out of gratitude. Men treat such manifestations differently, guided by the principle: “if she does it, it means she likes it that way,” or “it means I deserve to be loved so much,” i.e. there will be no response, but the woman is waiting for it.

Reasons for the manifestation of female egoism:

Low self-esteem;
Unhealthy relationship with parents;
Negative example from relatives (manipulator mother/father);
(especially unnecessary, etc.);
Lack of personal space (interests, hobbies);
to your man, others, etc.;
From a sick head to a healthy one, that is, a person is “infected” with selfishness.

For a woman to stop manipulating, she must be open to change and realize that she, too, can be wrong. If a person with conscious thinking does not see and does not understand the importance of changes in better side, then it is impossible to influence externally, and gender is not important here, this applies to both men and women. If the situation is completely fixable, the woman is open and ready for change, she needs to work on increasing her self-esteem, oddly enough, selfishness and self-esteem are different concepts. A woman needs personal space to be interesting, to be a source of energy for others, and not a topic for condemnation.

Women's selfishness harms everyone

How to overcome selfishness?

It is necessary to form the habit of negotiating, learning to trust people, listening and hearing them. Three important aspects family happiness. To negotiate means to find a solution that will suit both, if it is a couple, or will not greatly affect the interests of the parties. To trust is to stop being afraid of being deceived. There is a wise thought: “It is better to be deceived than to accuse an innocent person,” one must forcefully admit the thought that a person can tell the truth. Hearing another person means not only understanding the meaning of his words, but also trying to accept them. For example, a husband tells his wife that he is late due to a backlog of work; the wife does not believe it and asks a number of additional questions. In response to the husband’s arguments, the wife says: “I understand,” and continues to find out, even if there is practically no evidence of deception. Why is this happening? She doesn't want to admit that her theory is wrong. This is how relationships fall apart.
Healthy female egoism is the ability to love oneself, radiate energy, kindness and love for others.

In psychology, as in life, there are very few things that can be said with one hundred percent certainty. Social norms and upbringing dictate their conditions; from childhood we get used to the fact that we must take care of others and relatives, help the weak, resist dictators and tyrants. We are constantly told that highest achievement human - a feat accomplished for the benefit of the whole world. Many children's books tell stories of heroes who were not afraid to give their lives to save other people. Social norms say that we should feel guilty for any manifestation of selfishness, regardless of whether it is neurotic or healthy. But how often do we think about who an egoist is and when a person becomes an egoist?

Who is an egoist?

The word "egoism" comes from the Latin word "ego", which means "I". Most often, this concept is interpreted as behavior that is determined only by the thought of one’s own benefit and the desire to use others, regardless of their preferences, interests or desires.

Egoism is usually divided into rational and irrational. In the first option, the person evaluates possible consequences of their actions and decisions and takes this into account when making decisions. In the second case, the actions of a selfish, short-sighted and impulsive person are governed solely by his own desires, goals and interests.

Are there types of egoism?

Psychologists say that there are two types of egoism - passive and active.

An active egoist, often well versed in the world, knows very well how to please people, and can conduct lengthy small talk. However, when talking with him, in 10 minutes you will understand that all the words of this person are aimed only at achieving his goal. To do this, he is ready to make almost any sacrifice, for example, to show hypocrisy, bribe and even sacrifice his own reputation.

A passive egoist chooses a completely different line of behavior. Such people do nothing for others. It is easier for them to achieve their goals by acting arrogantly and rudely, “going over their heads.” Often people around him quickly realize the true nature of such a person, as a result of which they begin to avoid him. Therefore, a passive egoist in most cases simply becomes lonely, without friends and relatives who can be relied on in any situation.

Healthy or reasonable egoism - is this possible?

Certainly. Rational egoism is nothing more than the call of our soul. The main problem is that we often drown out this voice. And then it is replaced by narcissism, which tries to pass itself off as healthy egoism, and it is very difficult to get rid of it. That is, pathology appears when we suppress our natural need to take care of ourselves for a long time.

What is the difference between selfishness and self-love?

Selfishness is more of a sensation or sentiment than a physiological state. It depends entirely on how we perceive ourselves, the benefits we bring to society, and our desire to help ourselves or those around us.

We can say that selfish people are painfully proud. This is due to the fact that they constantly try to assert themselves and do not tolerate if someone tries to challenge their superiority.

Self-love manifests itself differently. In this case, we do not go over our heads, but remember our interests and do not allow our feet to be wiped all over us. That is, this is a rational and healthy approach to communication, when people try to respect each other while defending their interests.

How can we understand how selfish we ourselves are?

People often do not notice selfishness in themselves because they do not listen to what others tell them. Why do this if they already feel great?

Egoists are people who rarely notice that they bring many problems to other people. But then how can they understand that they are selfish? The answer is simple: you just need to listen and watch. Then the egoist will notice that he has been asked for some kind of service or favor for several months. And if things have accumulated around you a large number of people who are dissatisfied with your behavior is a reason to think about it.

You are selfish. Is it good or bad?

Selfishness is a product of the natural instinct of self-preservation.

If you look at the situation from the point of view of rationalism, you will understand: loving yourself is normal, it is necessary to preserve human life.

Also, selfish people are those who value other people's lives less than their own. Only the insane or the dead can be called completely selfless. After all, for each of us the value of our own existence is very great, and this is completely normal.

That is, in some cases, you may not feel guilty about trying to achieve your goal. Of course, you always need to know when to stop. Be self-sufficient and don't let your self-worth depend on what other people think of you. The main thing is not to go too far.

What to do if you need to communicate with an egoist?

Naturally, communicating with egoists is usually very difficult, because they are self-absorbed and do not pay attention to others. Narcissistic people need listeners, not people who will talk. Moreover, it is desirable that the listener be fascinated and fully support the selfish person in his plans and aspirations.

You have two ways to build a relationship with such a person. The first is to immediately criticize his views, reminding him of previous failures and shortcomings. In this state of affairs, you will have a chance to get rid of communication with an egoist for a long time, if not forever.

However, if you do not want to ruin the relationship, then you should choose the second strategy, namely, start praising the person and flattering him. Convince your interlocutor that he is the one and only, and interrupt the conversation only under the pretext of urgent matters. Then the selfish person will treat you as an intelligent and pleasant companion.

What to do if you fall in love with an egoist?

If you can, run away from him as quickly as possible. For what? Because otherwise you will only get a lot of pain from this relationship. You will have to completely dissolve in your partner and lose yourself as a person. An egoist is a creature who will not tolerate those who have their own opinions, views, ideals, principles and interests, or those who are critical of their partner.

If you firmly believe that your choices are truly exceptional, then one day you will realize that you are not living your life. Your entire existence revolves around your partner's desires and interests.

Egoists are people incapable of true self-sacrifice and love. They all consider themselves extremely smart and talented. Consequently, they are always right, and everyone around them is narrow-minded fools who are worthless and know nothing. An egoist will blame others for all misfortunes and attribute selfish impulses to them, and not to himself.

The selfish nature simply will not allow such people to build close relationships that are based on openness and love on both sides. That is why egoists are deprived of the opportunity to find family happiness. Often they themselves suffer from this and cannot understand the reason for their failures in love.

Is it possible to rehabilitate an egoist?

It is possible, but only in rare cases. If a person has become selfish after experiencing severe shock or grief, then there is hope that he will understand: he is also surrounded by living people who have their own feelings, desires, problems and dreams. But it is almost impossible to change an adult if he does not want it himself and is not ready to make efforts and spend time on it. So if your partner, whom you truly love, is afraid of losing you and is willing to change for you, then there will be progress. You will just need to be patient.

Most simple forms egoism is innate egoism. People live with him all their lives, but when they meet their love, they often change for the better. These people can become the most caring people in the world, and even if they cannot change themselves, they still see their selfishness from the outside and do not develop this quality. The other half has time to see, discern this in his or her loved one and understand whether he or she can put up with it.

There is a second scenario where a person acquired this quality while already in a relationship. It can destroy love, trust or friendship overnight. The fact is that selfishness is the worst enemy of love, its direct opposite. Selfishness is dangerous because a person begins to do something not for two people, but for himself, changing his priorities and behavior. For example, a selfish partner may try to change a loved one or forbid him something. But this approach is fundamentally wrong, because it makes the relationship disharmonious.

How to deal with selfishness

The fight against selfishness must be supported by the desire of this person to change. It's always easier to get rid of problems together, so trust your other half too. The fight begins with awareness of the problem. Until a person understands that he is doing something wrong, he will not be cured. It is necessary to convey to your partner logical arguments showing that he only cares about himself, while you have to think for both. Sometimes your significant other may do this not even on purpose, being sincerely confident that everything is in order. So before you boil over with discontent, try to convey what the essence of the problem is. Well, if you are the egoist in a couple, think about it, because your weaknesses can ultimately destroy a happy life together.

The second point is desire to fight selfishness. Every day it is necessary to monitor any manifestations of selfishness. To do this, you can and should use the help of a loved one. It is important to remember self-control and prevent manifestations of a selfish approach, when all decisions are made only in favor of one of the two. It's difficult, but everyone can do it. If you are an egoist, then the very desire to change will show your significant other that you are thinking about the future and want only the best for both of you. And if your life is connected with an egoist, make sure that he really wants to change, and work on the problem together.

The essay contains references to the story by O. Pavlova.

Option 1

Egoism is a person’s desire to put himself above everyone else, and if he succeeds, then it seems to such a person that the world revolves only around him. This quality is considered negative, because behind it are immodesty, pride, and sometimes even heartlessness.

In O. Pavlova's story we can find several egoistic characters.

Max Smirnov, wanting to make a joke, does not hesitate to imitate the stuttering Zhukov. It’s common for Katya Lebedeva to narcissistically admire her embroidery. Despite the fact that Max is the captain of the school basketball team, and Katya is beautiful and talented, they do not evoke sympathy from the reader.

But because selfishness nullifies all the virtues of a person, making him unpleasant and soulless.

Option 2

I believe that selfishness is one of the most unpleasant qualities in a person. This is narcissism, thirst for attention and stupidity combined. The egoist does not notice the people around him; on the contrary, he expects adoration and admiration.

Let's see, turning to the proposed text, how unpleasant manifestations of selfishness can be.

Katya Lebedeva does not doubt her own superiority so much that she does not for a second allow the thought that Zhukov will write his essay not about her. The narcissistic girl accepts his kind attitude without gratitude, with “feigned dissatisfaction.” Surely it was about her that Vovka wrote: “True talent without kindness is like dead flowers.”

Unfortunately, I can also be selfish. I am still ashamed of the money that I took from my grandmother for a long time for small expenses, until my mother told me that my grandmother was saving on herself in order to collect this amount for me. But I didn’t even think about the fact that my grandmother’s pension was very small.

For egoists, as I understand even from my own experience, all interests are limited to their own “I”.

Option 3

I think selfishness is the unwillingness to understand that there is someone else in this world besides you. A selfish person considers himself smarter, better, more worthy than others.

Selfishness is a quality that distinguishes Katya Lebedeva from O. Pavlova’s story. Everyone considers her the first beauty, objects are easy for her, but at the same time she is arrogant, rude and immodest: Katya calls her embroidery amazing and brags about it. Agree, such behavior is selfish.

Max Smirnov behaves no better: he is not shy about teasing the stuttering Zhukov, and behaves defiantly.

And only Vovka Zhukov, with his essay, taught a lesson to all those who behave selfishly in their class.

There is no beauty in a person if he loves only himself and his achievements.

Option 4

Selfishness is the behavior of a person when he thinks only about himself and his merits. Egoists are often characterized by narcissism.

Let us turn to O. Pavlova’s text to prove this idea. Katya, who knows how to embroider well, brings her work to class. Trying to attract everyone’s attention to his paintings, he calls the embroideries a “beautiful garden,” admires them, and seeks confirmation of his delight in the reactions of others.

Her conceit is unpleasant, but Katya does not notice this. In addition, she is sure that Vova, who is in love with her, will definitely tell about her talents. Without even listening to his essay, she comments on what she is reading in order to once again draw attention to herself.

Eugene Onegin from the novel of the same name by A. S. Pushkin is also an egoist, and selfishness deprived him of a friend and sincere love.

Selfish people, as a rule, evoke hostile feelings.

Option 5

Selfishness is a disdainful attitude towards others and a demonstration of one’s imaginary and real merits. Egoists love only themselves.

Let us prove this idea with examples from O. Pavlova’s text. In the class where the girl Katya studies, everyone has long noticed that the quiet and C-grade student Zhuk is in love with her. However, Katya humiliates him, demonstrating her disdain. Feigned dissatisfaction is also heard in her words when Katya listens to Vovka’s composition, confident that it is written about her. Material from the site

But the girl certainly signs her works, admires them, and boasts that an exhibition of her “delightful garden” will be organized. Katya does not yet understand how unhappy she is in her selfishness: unable to love anyone other than herself, she is doomed to loneliness.

However, this is natural: few people would want to communicate with a person who is only interested in himself.

Option 6

Selfishness is the disgusting tendency of a person to consider himself better than everyone else. An egoist, as a rule, is soulless and self-confident; he does not take into account the feelings of the people around him.

Thus, in O. Pavlova’s text, Katya leaves an unpleasant impression of herself, although she sings, draws, and embroiders well. However, I don’t want to admire her talent, because the girl constantly does it herself.

Having decided that she is the best and everything is allowed to her, the girl easily insults her classmate. When the topic of a couplet of a boy in love comes up, Katya grimaces with contempt. This egoist is aware only of her own exclusivity.

In order for everyone to live well in society, everyone must think not only about themselves, but also about others.

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